Paul: Quinns, could you keep the noise down- oh my God, who are all these games?
Quinns: Did we wake you up? Sorry! I just thought I’d invite a few of our favourite board games round for a nightcap and a cigar.
Paul: This is nuts. I hardly recognise any of them. It’s as if this week there have been exciting developments exclusively regarding games we like, and this party is an elaborate premise for a roundup of the week’s news.
Quinns: Yes
Paul: This place is also a mess, already. I can see everyone’s been drinking. Is that Mission: Red Planet over there, sweeping up that broken glass? Wasn’t that the game that combines the role claiming of Citadels or Coup with an area control game? I haven’t seen him since your review in 2012. He’s looking very well. Where’s he been?
Quinns: Oh, he sold out and there was no interest from the publishers in a second print run, but Fantasy Flight announced yesterday they’d snaffled up the rights and are releasing an even prettier, hopefully even better edition in the third quarter of this year.
Paul: Well, I’m glad he’s back around. Though he’s so… orange now.
Quinns: I know. I think it’s a spray tan. Who told him orange was a good idea? Vile colour.
He’s not the only surprise. Look there, in the corner.
Paul: Junta! 1978 release Junta is in the house?! I remember Junta, but I thought he was dead?
Quinns: No! AEG just announced they found the rights down the back of a sofa or something and their new reprint is coming this summer. I’m so excited. I’ve always wanted to play it.
Basically, each turn one player is the esteemed President of the República de las Bananas and receives a secret amount of income, which he or she then has to divvy up between the other players after embezzling as much as they dare. It’s a hilarious game of utter two-facedness. You want to rip off your friends, but not so much that they band together to assassinate you or launch a coup, at which point one of THEM becomes the new President.
Did you know Junta’s identifying number on Board Game Geek is just 242? You know what that means?
Paul: Only 241 board games were invented before 1978?
Quinns: That’s right. I heard a rumour that Hungry Hungry Hippos used to have that slot, and Junta usurped it and dumped it in a river. You ever wonder why Board Game Geek doesn’t have Hungry Hungry Hippos in its database?
Paul: I did! That makes so much sense. Or maybe they just index games according to… how ruthless they are. How long until Junta climbs up to number 1?
Quinns: Ooh! Since you’re here, here’s somebody I’d really like you to meet. Remember Last Will? This is his brother, The Castaway Club!
Paul: Hello! It’s good to meet you! Yes, please do have another pickle. You look famished!
Quinns, is he old enough to be drinking here? He looks very young.
Quinns: Well, he’s not actually out yet, not properly. He was a debutant at The Gathering of Friends the other week. I swear we’re not corrupting him.
Paul: Well, he certainly has all the society figures cooing. Given his pedigree, I’m sure he’s going to be one to watch. I see he’s already made friends with Five Tribes, over there. She’s also looking very healthy indeed. She isn’t… expecting… by any chance, is she?
Quinns: Yeah, both her and Mage Knight have expansions on the way. I think Five Tribes is actually planning to add a sixth tribe, The Artisans of Naqala, into the mix. These artisans craft valuable items and we’re going to see more meeples, more board tiles and a gigantic chasm. And I know how much you love gigantic chasms.
Paul: They’re my third favourite thing in the world after fondue kits and that angry pointing gesture that Harrison Ford does in every other film. I’ve actually seen Mage Knight’s ultrasound images and I know that her expansion’s going to feature a new druid character (apparently with a bear!), more monsters and the opportunity for five players to play. I’m glad to see she remains so popular and respected alongside all these other distinguished guests.
Well, this is a lovely nightcap and I’m glad you’re all having a good time. I’ll mingle a little, but I’ll leave you to it as I have to be up early to take Reference Pear for a walk. It’s great to see everyone enjoying themselves and Matt definitely deserves to unwind after all the hard work he’s been doing lately.
Quinns: Oh, that’s not Matt.
Paul: It’s not?
Quinns: No, that’s just a statue from Charles Dickens World.
Paul: …
Quinns: …
Paul: Goodnight.
