SU&SD
Paul: Hello to you all and welcome aboard the Games News Submarine! We took our Gold Club donations and decided, rather than spending them on something silly like web hosting services, we’d move our WHOLE OPERATION TO A SUBMARINE. There’s no property tax!
Quinns: Paul every single member of the team has been sick
Paul: Dive! Dive deeper to the news! Thematically-appropriate news such as SEAFALL IS COMING.
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Matt: Diamonds and bananaaas!
They will slip you up, and please you
They can stimulate and tease you
Bring icecream in the night
and I promise I might DESSERT YOUUU
Quinns: Bananas are forever,
Hold one up and then caress it,
Touch it, stroke it, and undress it,
I can see every part,
And I know in my heart they’re GOOD CAAARDS!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BABA!
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Paul: February has fallen out of the future and landed smack in the present, flat on its face and groaning. The strangest of months, it likes to be inconsistent with its length, but it has at least brought us some very exciting news. It was news that had me running to the Shut Up & Sit Down office, my arms full, stumbling through the rain.
Spyfall 2! Surely the biggest, biggest news we’ll have this month, and maybe some of the biggest news we’ll have all year, is that Spyfall 2 is coming. Spyfall 2. SPYFALL 2. A sequel to one of our favourite games and to one of last year’s biggest and most deserved hits. Spyfall 2.
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Paul: Quinns, are you ready to do this?
Quinns: You ask that question and, immediately, I’m concerned.
Paul: It’s fine. It’s great. I have a great idea. This fortnight’s news has some big announcements but also games about POISON and STRING and CASTLES, which are three of my favourite things! I’ve decided the best thing would be if I beatboxed the news and you… sort of sang a song?
Quinns: No. No, that’s a dreadful idea.
Paul: Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG.
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[We’ve told the story of a Netrunner tournament, but what about Fantasy Flight’s biggest-selling title, the excellent X-Wing Miniatures Game? PC Gamer magazine’s Chris Thursten has just started playing, and below shares the awesome journey of his first ever tourney.]
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Paul: Aha! Did you think we were done? Did you think it was all over? The sad truth is that, in assembling our gigantic Top 50 list, so many games don’t quite make the cut. We shift them up and down. We debate their inclusion. We resign ourselves to seeing favourites fail to break the Top 50 by the tiniest of margins. That’s how it is, though. You stick in a Codenames and the whole list shifts. Someone has to be number 51.
All the games that follow are good games. We don’t want you think we’ve lost our love for them because they weren’t featured last week. These are our Honourable Mentions.
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Quinns: We are entering the teens! Steady as she goes, operator.
Operator: Sir, the site was never built for this! She’s going to buckle under the pressure!
Quinns: There’s no turning back now. We’d never make it. The only way out… is through.
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Quinns: Alright, we’re proceeding into the twenties. Keep your arms and legs inside the article at all times. If you feel sick stop reading immediately, make a cup of tea and add the Forgetful Mixture we taught you how to make in your induction.
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Quinns: It looks like our Top 50 is maintaining its structural integrity, for now. At the first sign of trouble, it is of utmost importance that you all evacuate the website immediately.
I refuse to have any more dead on my hands.
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