News 12 - Shut Up & Sit Down

SHUX’20 Update

AwSHUX Update!

AwSHUX will be open to everyone! It will also be free for everyone, attendees and exhibitors! Bookmark https://awshux.show, the site will go live on Friday Oct 16. We’re just finishing final tweaks leading up to the show. There will be no password, signup or any registration needed, the site will open to the public. You may want to create a Discord account (free) to do demos at exhibitor booths or hang out with other attendees. A Twitch account (also free) will come in handy if you want to interact/comment on Twitch streams over the weekend but you do not need one to watch the stream. Tabletopia (who have kindly partnered with us) will have a special link that we’ll have on the AwSHUX site to enjoy free access to all their games over the weekend as well!

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June 10, 2020 – Hello everybody. Today we’ve got an announcement about this October’s SHUX, the Shut Up & Sit Down convention. To state the obvious, hosting an event where thousands of people from all over the world can meet and sit in close proximity is no longer “a great idea”.

If you were planning on attending SHUX in 2020, or even 2021, here’s everything you need to know. And if you weren’t planning on that, scroll down to the next image on this post for a fun surprise!

Ava: There’s just too much news, Tom.

Tom: Yes, but most of that isn’t actually about games is it.

Ava: I know, but it feels super weird to be focussed on one narrow stream of stuff when so much huge other stuff is happening.

Tom: How about this. We’ll pick a few fruits from the kickstarter tree, oggle a few upcoming intrigues, then try and be thoughtful and highlight some good work, good links, and ways to help?

Ava: Maybe a teensy bit of stream promotion first? Just a wee dram to get the cockles warm?

Tom: A little stream promotion; as a treat.

So! All stream donations/subs for the next month are going to Black Lives Matter and the Stephen Lawrence Trust – so your regular scheduled boardgame buffoonery now comes with a small side of potential positive change. This Tuesday we’re playing Oceans with Dominic Crapuchettes, and on Thursday we’re going to be playing MOTHERSHIP – a roleplaying game! Imagine! That will feature myself, Ava, Matt and Pip and I’m super excited for it. Then, next week, we’ll be playing Dice Throne on Tuesday and [something else] on Thursday! Tune in, it’s always a cosy time.

Ava: Come on, come on! That games news needs to be piping hot when it goes to the serving hatch or table four is going to send it right back! Have you chopped those opinions yet? Peeled the puns? How’s the reckon roux reducing? Have you even basted the takes?

Tom: Oh darn, I’ve made a ramble roux instead; and these takes are absolutely underdone, let alone properly basted! I’m going as fast as I can, chef, but we really need a news potwash – I’m still doing the dishes from last week!

Ava: Gah! Do I have to do everything myself? Please tell me that you’ve at least properly prepped the stream schedule?

Tom: Yes Chef! Tuesday we’re serving a seafood course – a pan-fried Oceans with guest chef Dominic Crapuchettes, and on Thursday we’ve got some survival space food courtesy of Galaxy Trucker with Matt and Tom! Then next week? Tuesday sees us crunching some cuboid croutons floating in joke soup – hastily whipped up by Matt and Tom over some delicious Dice Throne. And then Thursday has us sitting down to the main course! MOTHERSHIP! A LIVE RPG WITH TEAM SU&SD!

Ava: You let the goof slip a little at the end there.

Tom: It’s just too exciting, chef!

Mart Leez: is it time for news? I’m always up for newsing the news, but I’m worried my newses might be sad news or old news. There’s plenty more news in the sea. You salty newsdog. News of the World is my favourite Queen album. There’s no news without fire! I’m tired.

Ava: I think it might be time to put Mart to bed. Maybe you should read its favourite bedtime story. You know, the one about what streaming is happening over the next two weeks.

Tom: Ah yes, let me get that one down from the shelf. It’s called ‘This Tuesday We’ll Be Playing Fugitive with Tim Fowers, then on Thursday Matt will be playing some solo Print and Plays’. After that we could read the sequel? That one is called ‘Next Tuesday it’s Oceans with Dominic Crapuchettes.

Ava: Classic titles, one and all. Goodnight, sweet Mart. You were such a convenient joke.

Tom: I’ll get the pillow.

Ava: Hey everybody! It’s time for some news! Probably the biggest (games) news of the last week has been the most grimly inevitable. Yup, it’s official that both Gen Con and Essen Spiel are not going to happen this year, at least not in their traditional form.

Matt: Hello! Before I hand over to my fictional robotic counterpart, I just wanted to point your attention towards the home of the new unofficial Shut Up & Sit Down forum. We unfortunately had to shut down the servers we were running ourselves, but we wish the new forum all of the best and would highly recommend getting over there for a good old gander – they really are a very lovely bunch. And without further ado, here’s a robot with my face and voice:

Mart Leez: This Tuesday, we’ve got Wingspan with Elizabeth Hargrave, and on Thursday Tom and Matt will be playing some “board games”! Then, next Tuesday, Matt will be playing some Fugitive with Tim Fowers, and having a cosy print-and-play session on Thursday. That’s all from me, your favourite LeesCorp information dispenser. Have a pleasant week!

Tom: Huh. It seems a lot more sprightly this week. Guess the repairs worked after all – I was worried that we’d have to naturally end Mart’s character arc after a slow degradation through relentless employee abuse. But hey – seems like it really is a ‘joke too convenient to kill’.

Ava: I guess that’s the benefit of having complete authorial power over a fictional construct.

Mart Leez: You know I can hear you, right?

Tom: Back in your box, Mart, there’s a news going on.

Mart Leez: STREAM SCHEDULE. LORDS OF VEGAS WITH MIKE SELINKER: TUESDAY 12.05. FORGOTTEN WATERS WITH ISAAC VEGA: THURSDAY 14.05. WINGSPAN WITH ELIZABETH HARGRAVE TUESDAY 19.05. MISC. GAMES AND CHILLIN’ THURSDAY 21.05.

Ava: What on earth happened to Mart?

Tom: I’ve no idea, it looks like maybe taking an axe to it was a bad idea? It appears to be in some kind of safe mode.

Ava: Once we had a friend, now we have a spreadsheet. Oh woe is Mart, noblest LeesCorp employee, and the running joke too convenient to kill.

Tom: I’ve got a screwdriver, some duct tape and a spare liver in cold storage. I’ll see if we can keep it trucking on until we require its services once more.

Ava: Wait, whose liver have you got?

Time Captain: help

Tom: ONWARDS TO THE NEWS.

Mart Leez: Peoplethings! If you need a scheduled entertainment respite phase in and around your mandatory working and/or worrying hours, then fear not! Well actually, fear just a little. Our stream this Tuesday featuring Isaac Vega and the much talked-about Forgotten Waters has been pushed back until next Thursday, May 14th – but we’ll be live this Thursday with Ava, Quinns and The Real Matt Lees for a live game of Hansa Teutonica! Lock up your wooden discs, it’s all kicking off!

Ava: Mart, you can’t just start the news off by yelling at the peoplethings! We try to ease in with a gentle bit of repartee. Some bon mots, and at least one compound news-word. We’re a respectable news outlet, not some kind of angry town crier.

Tom: Ava, that’s bobbins. We just write the news and then come back here and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Ava: Maybe, but we don’t shout.

Mart Leez: Apologies for the incorrectly pitched thought-velocities. I will try to bon up my mots for next week, and if there’s space I’ll pop a repartee up there as well. How’s this as a sample? “Hello Readers and welcome to the news-bike. We’ll be peddling this all the way through news-ville dispatching news-bundles into the laps of the populace, waiting and ready for their news-breakfast”

Tom: Ava, I have to kill it. It knows too much.

Ava: I’ll get the axe.

Mart Leez: 🙁

Ava: Spielworxx continues to be my go-to for impossibly heavy games with ridiculously particular themes, and they certainly don’t appear to be slowing that down.

Tom: … and then once both of your time tokens reach the end of the track, the game is over! You’ll score based on the number of buttons you have left, and any empty spaces on your quilt will be scored negatively.

Mart Leez: When do I eat the buttons?

Ava: Mart, for goodness sake, if you’re going to be part of the team you’ll need to understand Patchwork, at least. We’ve been trying to teach you for a whole week, I’m starting to thi-

Mart Leez: Hello to the folks at home! This week we’ve got an exciting bunch of streams for you, fresh from the LeesCorp streampipe-

Tom: Ava why is it doing that

Mart Leez: This week we’ve got the final part of the Gloohaven stream, where the original LeesCorp drone will continue its sisyphean task, compiling the box in which it will eventually be buried. Tune in on Tuesday! Then, later in the week, we’ll be testing the machine-learning capabilities of our other models by continually achieving consensus. That’s right, it’s Wavelength with SU&SD, live on Thursday!

Ava: …

Tom: …

Mart Leez: Can I eat the buttons yet?

Ava: … that’s enough of Mart for today… Let’s power you down and get on with the news.

Ava: Who goes there?

Tom: Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.

Ava: Oh thank god it’s you Tom, I thought I’d seen a ghost on the news-battlements.

Tom: Not this time, but I have had one pale figure looming over me on my rounds. Please enjoy a short word from our sponsors at LeesCorp.

Ava: Come on, we’ve got to get this news flowing or we’ll have nothing to report this week and people will be sad.

Tom: I’ll join you in just a moment. Matt’s busy demolishing me at Terra Mystica on BoardGameArena and I’ve got to focus all my energy on losing so that HE doesn’t feel sad.

Ava: It’s the important work. Especially when he pays my invoices and decides if our news is news enough.

Tom: Wait, Matt can see this? Oh cripes.

Ava: Did we ever bother telling you what an editor is?

Tom: Some kind of fruit?

Ava: Oh dear.

Matt: Hey now! I beat you with my darkling buddies FAIR AND SQUARE. Ooh, While I’m here – don’t forget we’re now streaming on Twitch every Thursday at 3pm UK time. It’s mostly just silly stuff with me on my own for now, but that will change soon, once I can work out how to do magic with wires. Anyway! Ava – do us some GAMES NEWS!

Ava: OK! Games News. In inevitably increasing multimedia empire news, some art got turned into a role playing game got turned into a telly show and now a board game.

Tales from the Loop is a cocktail of 80s nostalgia, weird sci fi and large mechs. The board game take on Simon Stålenhag’s moody artwork offers a selection of scenarios and adventures. Players take the role of kids playing detective and co-operating to solve some mystery or another caused by that eponymous underground particle accelerator.

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