Quinns: Ava, before we get started on the news, I have to tell somebody. I had the most fabulous time playing Don’t Get Got last night.
Ava: Oh yeah?
Quinns: Oh my goodness. The paranoia. The guile. The outraged howls outside the pub when I managed to win just before we all went home by getting another player to say “I love you.” It was exactly like someone scoring a goal in the closing seconds of the match.
Quinns: Ava, I have returned from my holiday a changed man. Before, where the old Quinns would have been a tangled ball of anxiety, now I am a walking chalice of chill.
Ava: Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m glad you had a good time. Are you feeling ready to dive right back into the swarming, heaving mass of press releases, board game announcements, union conflicts, franchise cash-ins, weird crowdfunded plastic, the rise of totalitarianism and the inevitability of death?
Quinns: …
Ava: What is it?
Quinns: Just performing a mental diagnostic. I remain chill, but that was a MEAN trick.
Ava: Oooh, it’s that time of year. The cold is starting to bite, but the cosy is always close at hand. Why don’t you make yourself a lovely hot chocolate, put your feet up, chuck a log on the fire, grab a blanket, fill a hot water bottle, watch a leaf turn red, find your loveliest slippers, cuddle the closest consenting cuddle-able, put a scarf on, watch a firework, stomp your feet, get another blanket just for your legs, wear a third blanket as a shawl and listen to the tale of Ava’s very own autumnal games news.
Matt: I’ve filled my mouth with a mixture of marshmallows and leaves and popped my slippers into the fire. Is that still autumnal? My hot water bottle is full of hot chocolate, don’t worry: no sense doing two different tasks with hot water when you’ll get loads more points for a combo.
Ava: Whatever fills your heart with October-flavoured warmth!
Matt: Putting these slippers back on was a bad idea, I’ll see you later bye
Ava: So, this week Quinns popped a little kickstarter vol-au-vent of recommendation onto the revolving newzy susan (But remember, Kickstarter still appear to be resisting attempts of Kickstarter United to unionise, so please do apply pressure to encourage them! See any of the last few news posts for more details.)
Labyrinthos has you exploring the infamous labyrinth of Minos. You’ll be running around looking for your keys, and occasionally get eaten by a bull headed beast. The maze can change at any moment, so you’ve got to balance your own route home with your willingness to mess up the plans of your enemies.
Ava: Oh frabjuous Monday! Callooh! Callay!
The borogroves are mimsy with news. Let’s have a gyre and gimble about the wabe, and see if we can slay that news-jabberwocky with our vorpalest swords. Then we can have some uffish thoughts under the tumtum tree, whiffle and burble through the tulgey wood and galumph back home after a job well done.
Brillig.
Let’s get our news-toves slithed.
Ava: Don’t dilly dally, SHUX may be over, but the news waits for nobody.
While the team are hopping on planes, I’m hopping on the news-train, and running straight to the dining car, hoping to pull up a cloche on some tasty news-morsels and snap up some crunchy news-nuggets. I’m not sure where we’re going, but I know that I’m hungry, and a big fan of locomotion.
Choo-choo-choo news-lovers!
Ava (definitely singing, not necessarily well): I work hard (they work hard) every day of my life, I work ‘til I ache my bones. At the end (at the end of the day) I take home my hard earned pay all on my own…
Nobody: ….
Ava: Oh cripes. Hi there. I might’ve been making myself a little too at home in the Shut Up & Sit Down office complex while everyone else trots off to Vancouver. Without Matt here I don’t have to fight about who has to do backing vocals.
But you’re here, and you know what that means? It’s Monday. SHUX is approaching, and just beyond that lies enormous shopping convention Essen Spiel, and that means the news hopper is heaving. Let’s get to work.
Ava: Welcome to the news, my greedy little fact-hounds. You’ve arrived to find me waist deep in an ethical quagmire. My news-galoshes are brimming with nuanced political mithering. How troubling.
Last week we reported on the alleged union-busting of Kickstarter, and stood in solidarity with the unionised workers. Obviously we still do. But this week sees the biggest glut of exciting-looking kickstarters I’ve seen in months, and it feels cruel to punish the creators of those projects for picking the platform as this skulduggery emerges.
Former Kickstarter worker Clarissa Redwine had a strong twitter thread about the escalation of the fired workers resistance into a federal complaint, and has highlighted that they aren’t asking creators to boycott, and so it follows they aren’t asking potential backers to snub those creators (or asking media folk to steer folk away).
We’ll keep on monitoring the situation, and if you do back any of these tasty looking projects, you may want to think about how you can communicate to Kickstarter your feelings on the situation, and your solidarity with the workers.
Ava: Hlph um kumphlll. Mummph blumph fulmph bugublfu
Quinns: What was that, Ava?
Ava: *large tearing noise and a series of ragged gasps* Help me, Quinns, I’m stuck inside this baseball!
Quinns: …
Ava: It’s an allegory, Quinns, and a warning that this week’s games news is a bit more inside baseball than usual.
Quinns: I can just about understand that, but how did you get in there!?
Ava: Never doubt my commitment to a bit, Quinns. Also, I’m sorry I ruined your baseball.
Ben: Oh jeez, I’m introducing the news. Please don’t let me break anything. They never let the intern pilot the Enterprise.
Ava: Luke Skywalker was basically an intern when he got a pop on an X-Wing, and he blew up an entire ‘that’s no moon’. Dream big, Ben! Blow something up!
Ben: Hello! It’s time for some gaming news! If you’re ready for it, great, if not let me know and I will tip you out of bed and shout news in your face until you’ve had your fill or I get tired.
Ava: That’s the spirit!
Quinns: Sorry I’m late to the doc, Ava. I put too many news-chillies on my news-pizza last night, and it has caused problems with my ability to use the news-toilet.
Ava: Hey! Adding the word news to everything is MY thing. Let me make you some news-peppermint tea, while you decide if you need any news-ointment for your poor, spicy news-bum.
Quinns: I thought I’d put you on the back foot by talking about my body, but I just feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s Box. Which isn’t the only thing that’s been opened this morning, let me tell you.
Ava: THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT! TO THE NEWS.