News 20 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 17/09/18

Paul: Very few people know this, but Games News comes to us each week as stories pouring off a waterfall. We stand at the bottom, buckets in hand, catching the very best of this constant, unending flow.

Scurrying back to the Games News Cabin this week, we have pails full of the latest info on a Magic Maze expansion, on Azul’s newest award (that game is doing well) and a game based around a terrible pun. BUT FIRST, shall we take a quick look at the enormous explosion of X-Wing Second Edition, which burst onto the scene this weekend?

Paul: Today’s Games News comes bursting through your front door like a SWAT team seizing all your pirate DVDs. Why DO you have quite so many pirate DVDs? Why haven’t you moved on to Blu-ray? These are questions we’ve all been asking and I guess you’ll have plenty of time to ponder them in the COUNTY JAIL.

ANYWAY, Pandemic: Fall of Rome is on the way from Z-Man Games, it puts a new spin on the the classic cube-busting series and… I can also reveal that I’ve already tried it.

Paul: I specifically told American punk rockers Green Day to wake me up when September came* and they have done with an absolute earful of games news. We’ve got everything from castles to fish to Lara Croft this week, so let’s get this season rolling…

Quinns: …with WARHAMMER.

Wait, hang on. Warhammer… in schools?

Paul: What’s that in the sky, soaring above us?! Is it a bird? A plane? Is it the GAMES NEWS, descending down upon us to… No, it is a bird. Oh no. It’s dead. Quinns, the bird is dead.

Quinns: That’s OK, I was just on my way to bury this copy of Risk. We’ll pop the bird in the box.

Paul: OK, but hurry back! There’s a news story in the Games News’ news about the Dune games that will soon be news?

Quinns: Oh my goodness. As always, a deluge of announcements came out of Gen Con this year. We should probably start by covering all of the news to gush forth from the excellent studio that is Fantasy Flight Games.

The centrepiece of this press conference? Keyforge. A new card game from Richard Garfield, designer of both Magic: The Gathering and Netrunner, that uses very advanced technology. In fact, the technology behind printing Keyforge is so bonkers that just about everybody in the audience couldn’t wrap their heads around it.

Paul: Welcome back once again, dear readers, to the Games News lab, where fresh Games News stories are grown in special hydroponic vats and tended carefully until, at last, they are ready to be released to-

Quinns: ANOTHER ONE’S ESCAPED.

Paul: QUARANTINE PROTOCOL GAMMA. ENGAGE DEFENSE TURRETS. EVACUATE THE BIODOME. THE WORLD ISN’T READY FOR THE NEWS OF GEN7.

Good grief, this is two weeks in a row that Plaid Hat games are leading our Games News, but Gen7 is none other than the second “Crossroads” game. In other words, it’s the long-awaited spiritual sequel to Dead of Winter.

Paul: Quinns, what is it that you have there, under one of your many board gaming arms?

Quinns: What, this? This little thing under my tertiary limb? Why, it’s only the latest announcement from Plaid Hat games, their fancy new Neon Gods. Doesn’t it look pretty, Paul? Doesn’t it look like an imaginative cross between roller derby, cyberpunk and Adventure Time? Doesn’t it also look… CURIOUSLY FAMILIAR?

Paul: …!!

Quinns: Ha, you’ve figured it out, haven’t you? Yes, I believe that Neon Gods is nothing less than the mutant child of early Plaid Hat classic City of Remnants, a game we were delighted by all the way back in 2013.

Paul: Once again, deep behind enemy lines, we light the fires and wave our torches into the cloudy night sky in the hope that our signals will be seen by our brave allies and that they will parachute in the latest drop of vital Games New supplies. The distant drone of an engine, a dark shape in the air. Suddenly, it’s here! Quinns, open the crate! What’s inside?

Quinns: IT’S ONLY THE SEQUEL TO AZUL.

Paul: It’s HOT today and it’s only going to get hotter as the week goes on, meaning the Shut Up & Sit Down News Room (at the very top of Pear Towers, 1 Pear Street, London, W1 1AA) is absolutely sweltering. Quinns and I can’t get too close in case we stick together like a pair of softening gummy bears.

Quinns: Do you know what the opposite of a softening gummy bear is?

Games Workshop’s new announcement, KILL TEAM.

Paul: Another week begins, another ~~Monday~~ Tuesday dawns and another cockerel’s call echoes out across the Shut Up & Sit Down farm. The first task of this week, and of every week, is to milk the News Cows, and so we lead the braying brown beasts over to the sheds. That sound you hear is the noise of FRESH AND WHOLESOME STORIES filling the pail.

And what could be more wholesome than Mesozooic, by far the cutest game of the week?

Games News! 17/09/18

Games News! 10/09/2018

Games News! 03/09/2018

Games News! 20/08/18

Games News! 13/08/18

Games News! 30/07/18

Games News! 23/07/18

Games News! 16/07/18

Games News! 09/07/18

Games News! 03/07/18

Feeds