News 35 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 5 Star edition

Quinns: Some things are just better together! Chocolate and peanut butter. Head injuries and medical care. Tigris & Euphrates.

This week, board games’ dignified finishing school of Fantasy Flight announced a new version of the European classic. For the uninitiated, Tigris & Euphrates sees 2-4 players each in control of a civilization in ancientest Mesopotamia, and accurately depicts how these factions would conquer one another by covering the desert in big square tiles and sometimes an intimidatingly chunky pyramid.

I’ve actually played Tigris & Euphrates. The short version of that story is that, like a lot of Reiner Knizia games, it made me wish I was outside climbing a tree. The even shorter version is that it is pretty good, if you like that kind of thing (read: tiles, Mesopotamians).

Quinns: GOOOOD MORNING TABLE GAMERS!

Welcome to the official start of SU&SD’s year! We’ve been up to all kinds of unofficial business while you’ve been away, of course. Yesterday I had some friends over to try the print’n’play version of Spyfall, and the week before Matt experienced Fluxx for the first time. He didn’t have to tell us. When we saw him he had tears streaking his face, and kept asking “Why?” over and over, looking for meaning in his shattered life. It was Pirate Fluxx, too. Do leave him some kind words in the comments.

But you’re not here for news about us, are you? About us and our lives and the inescapable entropy afflicting our corporeal forms? You’re here for the hottest scoops in board gaming news and I, for one, wouldn’t dare to waste your time.

Quinns: Morning everybody! Our cover photo today is of L’Auberge Rouge (“the Red Inn”), a gorgeous-looking game coming next year from venerable Belgian publisher Pearl Games. It looks like you’ll all be running incredibly creepy pubs.

Brendan: oh god what day is it

Quinns: Brendan?! What are you doing under the desk? The Top 25 wrap party is over. You should be at home.

Brendan: i had the worst dream. i reviewed board games for a living

Quinns: Hey, I’ve got a great idea. You can help me do the weekly Games News! Here, pull up a chair.

Brendan: oh no

Quinns: What do we want?!

“SCYTHE!”

When do we want it?

“NOW!”

Why do we want it?

“Because the box looks well nice.”

Paul: Okay, listen up. This is how Games News is going to work today. I’m Tom Cruise from Top Gun, you’re Val Kilmer. You’re Val Kilmer. Idon’tcarewhoyoureallyare! You’ve brought a friend? They can be the other guy, but not the guy who dies. The important thing is that we’re all cool and this is some cool, post-BoardGameGeek Con news (that’s some of our Board with Life pals having fun above). We’re getting real serious and smooth and even a bit dangerous here, so strap yourself in, fire up your jets and turn up the sound, because I feel the need… the need for news!

Paul: Oh dear. Oh dear. Well, yes, I’ll be honest with you, your injuries are serious, but with the expert care of the Games News Paramedics, we can save you. In fact, we can rebuild you.

You’ll need extensive work. It’ll be a long stay. I suppose the first move would be to replace all the blood you’ve lost, so I’m pumping your circulatory system full of the Second Edition of Funemployed. That’ll perk you right up. Are you ready?

Paul: Hello, viewers, and welcome to another edition of Games News! On this week’s show, our contestants are Sven, Lucia and Juanita! Let’s also welcome back Henry, who is returning from last week’s show mostly intact. Wave your stumps, Henry!

All right, everyone, you know how the show goes. Let’s get things started with the Quickfire Round! First question: What’s the new game from Love Letter creator Seiji Kanai that we should be getting all amorous about?

Quinns: Morning everybody! Our cover star today is Boom Bokken, which sounds and looks just lovely.

This is a hand management game with the theme of ninjas throwing a bomb back and forth where you’re trying to play gentle cards to at your team mate (“play a card higher than this 4, Paul!”) and hardball your opponents (“play a card lower than this 2, Brendan.”).

Blue cards can also be played that intercept a card being played between to other players, and there are a few clutch “emergency stop” cards in the deck. Best of all, players who fail to play the card expected of them are blown up, leading to dramatic dodgeball-like finishes where the one member of your team still standing takes on a whole team of three. In other words, it’s a game where every play could literally blow up in your face with plenty of room for heroism. Doesn’t that sound like our kind of thing?

Quinns: A lot of people come up to me and ask “Quinns, what’s the secret? How do you always have amazing stories for the Games News?” And I swing my Armani shoes up onto the desk, light a cigar, and I tell ’em “Well, I start by checking blogs. Basically you… you check some blogs. Is that coffee ready yet?”

Our cover game (seen above) is the absolutely beautiful The Ancient World, which might reach shops just before Christmas. Remember 8 Minute Empire, that lovely little area control game we reviewed? The Ancient World is designer Ryan Laukat’s next game. It tasks you with developing a pretty little civilisation, while finding time to slay the terrible titans striding the earth.

Dare you to take one look at what a completed city looks like and not be 100% sold on this game.

Quinns: Morning everyone! How are we all? It’s a lovely sunny day in London, with Autumn air crisp enough that you could take a bite out of it. Just the thing to chase away my memories of being a cutthroat bastard in a game of Chinatown at the weekend. I’ll tell you what else- I can’t remember the last time I played a game and immediately had so much to talk about. Expect a review as soon as we can manage.

There’s only one thing to say about the imminent “Designer Edition” of classic area control game Small World, and that is oh my god, oh my GOD, MOTHER, COME HERE AND LOOK AT THIS IMMEDIATELY. That’s it up top, if you hadn’t guessed.

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