Tom: Hello friends, acquaintances, and the occasional Disqus bot! Welcome to another week in Shut Up & Sit Down, wherein content will be delivered to you on a novelty-sized cheque written out to ‘John BoardGames’. The cheque is covered in content, slathered in the stuff wait actually it’s dripping off the sides ew ew ew ew ew stop it put it down yuck
On Thursday, the tree bears fruits! Videofruits! Best not rush them, leave them to roll off the vine and straight into your waiting arms. Me and Matt just filmed this badboy, so expect something packed with hasty energy. Wonky, silly, and a very good game.
Friday? It’s the day you know and love, absolutely packed to the gills with pod. We’re going to be chatting about a smattering of games played at the UK Games Expo that we didn’t cover live! That includes Villagers, adorning this Mondaypost like a crown of cardboard. Lovely.
No stream this week, unless someone goes fully impulsive. I’ve ended up being ‘right busy’ recently, but hopefully we’ll be back soon with some more nonsense! If you didn’t catch it, Ava’s cupboard-organising stream is still available as a VOD right here!
That’s this week! Hope you’re all well in there, ‘internet people’! Whatcha been up to?
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Tom: Hello! Another week, is it? We’re slowly reassembling ourselves after a slight schedule-bump around the UK Games Expo, and we’ve got a full stack of content for you. It’s a big wobbly tower in my hands, picture it! WeyUughH! WahhooOO! WoaoAOAA! Wasn’t that fun?!
On either Wednesday or Thursday, I’ve got a video review! This one is a little spicy, and I’m having lots of fun editing it – expect a fairly chunky box that works less well than you want it to (welcome to Kickstarter!).
Then, on Friday, we’re podcasting! I’m not entirely sure what stack of games will make it to pod-town, but know that it’ll likely be packed with games, stuffed with surprises! Perhaps some chat about Rush M.D? A chuckle over some Wormholes? Or maybe some first impressions of Undaunted: Stalingrad?
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Tom: zzzzz… zzzz …. Zzzz ….
Ava: Tom! Wake Up!!!
Tom: AHGh! Ava! Why are you here? Did I accidentally resurrect the multi-person-back-and-forth for a convenient framing device, only for you to vanish entirely not three lines later?
Ava:
Tom: Alright. No need to be rude.
Ava: What’s a Monday with you? It’s going to be a pretty cool week on Shut Up and Sit Down Dot Com and I’m here to tell you all about it.
Tom: Readers, you join me for a practically goofless Monday Post. I’ve just poured 90% of my creativity into a string of very silly words that will maybe one day become a Shut Up & Sit Down video, but until then, I’m spent. It’s Monday! Time to tell you about it!
At some point in the Wednesday/Thursday nebulous VideoTime you can anticipate another fine production from Shut Up & Sit Down studios! We’re talking about a game! What game? I fear to give a single clue for the accuracy of your guesses are simply ferocious.
Twitch? Quite possibly! On Probably Thursday or Improbably Tuesday (my favourite days of the week) either myself or Ava will record video directly into the harddrive of your brain. Exciting! Expect videogames and rambles, in that order, if at all.
On Friday, you can expect a podcast where two strange hosts will chat about two strange games. Myself and Matt will first tackle the oddity that is the Sniper Elite Boardgame, before moving on to Rio Grande’s latest efficiency-obtainer Space Station Phoenix!
That’s this week! What have you been up to recently, everyone?
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Tom: Good morning! Or if it isn’t morning for you, make it morning! Sort yourself a coffee and some toast, brush your teeth and get commuting! Sure, work might be closed in your part of the world, but you can dream! Slam three pints and dunk your head into ice-water to simulate a crippling hangover, curl up into a ball and dream of childhood; an infant devoid of responsibility, where mornings presented an opportunity to seize joy in your cherubic fists rather than a procession of endlessly disappointing starts, ends and responsibilities; where work is said to not be the point of life but its spectre drips over each mortal interaction until the end. Eat some cereal!
On Wednesday (or Thursday) you can expect a review from Quinns – a review… of something that isn’t even a board game! Absolutely repellent. If I see anything that isn’t a board game these days I become violently ill. I sleep on a bed of Memoir ‘44 and shower in a stream of wooden cubes.
Thursday will be a stream! We’re hammering out the times but you can expect an AvaStream! A potter around in the high-stakes Scrabblin’ of Babble Royale! We’ll secrete a tweet when we’re ready to go on the Twitch. Either that or I’ll be streaming more Teardown? Goodness this is disorganised – I might as well have just written ‘something is happening on Thursday’.
Something is Happening on Friday. It will be a podcast, where myself and Matt and Ava will be talking about Founders of Teotihuacan and Khora: Rise of an Empire! Both quite dry games and we were all slightly delirious when we recorded it – so that’s fun. And that’s this week on Shut Up & Sit Down! Lots to look forward to from all members of the team, there.
What are you looking forward to this week, everyone? Or what did you get up to? I don’t make the rules.
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Tom: Congratulations, reader! You are the 1,00… th… reader of the Shut Up & Sit Down Monday Post! The prize, of course, was in your heart all along! A scalpel and a vacuum cleaner are in the post. But what other treats can you folks look forward to in the meantime?
Wednesday bears the fruit of the oft-delayed, mythologised Ava review – arriving after a long period of Matt chipping away in the After Effects mines. ‘This is maybe the best thing I’ve ever done!’ he cries from the depths. We solemnly nod along, knowing well he is lost forever.
Thursday stream! We’re playing more Teardown! Stream will be on the Twitch sometime in the ‘English Afternoon’ – a period of time that occurs after a second cup of coffee but before kissing the Queen goodnight.
Friday is pod-day, and Tom and Quinns have kind words to say about Imperial Steam and The Guild of Merchant Explorers. Good luck keeping those titles in your head for the rest of the day, let alone the rest of the week!
And that’s all for this week! I’ve managed to grievously injure my finger in an act of Aubergine Revenge, so this entire post was typed with my ‘non-dominant’ fingers, or, if you’d rather, my submissive fingers *eyes emoji*. I’ve lost a lot of blood.
Week! Everybody up to what’s goinn onnnnnn….?
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Tom: Hello and welcome to another episode of This Week On Shut Up & Sit Down! There are three doors in front of you, and only one contains a prize!! Just kidding, just a little joke, just a bit of joshing between pals; they all have prizes, and zero goats.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) I’ll be doing streaming more Teardown in the afternoon – you can find that over on the Twitch channel for some incredibly poorly planned heists. I’m loving it so far, so please do come say hi and give me more terrible ideas for what to do with explosives.
On Thursday, it’s video day! You can expect another outstanding performance from Ava Foxfort in a searing hot double-review! This, of course, will be a review of the other B-Based game as alluded to in last week’s post. And like a cardboard Carol Vorderman I will reveal another letter…. it’s an S! Tune in next week for another sweet drop.
Matt: You’ve somehow managed to misunderstand both Countdown and our website in just two sentences.
Tom: And on Friday, as always, we’re podcastin’. Tom and Quinns are going to talk about whatever they end up playing on Thursday – who knows what that’ll be! Find out then for a nice surprise.
Until then, have a great week! I’m enjoying my bank holiday Monday playing some Knotwords and writing this post on the sofa. I have become truly decadent with a cheap keyboard and a trusty Steam Link. What have you been up to, everybody?
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Ava: It’s Monday I’m in love! That’s the song, right? Because it’s about the fact that my pal’s been visiting and it means I spent an entire day playing my favourite game, and only just remembered I have a job to do. Just another magic monday? That’s another song. I’m sure of it.
But that’s enough about me, let’s find out what Shut Up & Sit Down is doing to keep the magic alive this week.
Matt: Hello! I’m crawling my way out of the Covid mines and am Technically Ready™ to do stuff again! This week on the website we’ve got another collection tour video. Ooh, very exciting! I’d offer further details, but I’m enjoying the mystery of it all too much. Will it be a collection of board games, or hedges, or eggs? Who will be the owner of the collection? Will it be Mystery Kevin, from Mystransylvania?
The mysteries continue: We’ve also got, potentially, another Tunic stream with Tom this week – You can watch the last bits as VODs on Twitch: give the channel a follow if you want to be notified if and when he’s logging on for more chill times.
Finally, Friday’s podcast features Memoir 44: New Flight Plan, Illumination and possibly more?! Who can truly know what lies within the heart of pod?
I must depart the mystery zone now, as there are too many mysteries and I am getting scared. What are you getting up to this week, and how scared are you about that on a scale of 1 to 10?
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