Special Features 6 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Rooky Errors: A Story of Chess

After discovering everything he was taught about chess to be wrong, Brendan goes on a quest to learn the game properly, in this special feature on the ancient pastime.

Brendan: Amar moves his knight to c6 and I feel my lungs seize up. It is my first game of chess against another human being in over 10 years and remembering to breathe has become a problem.

When I first arrived at the chess club, hidden away on the shadowy second floor of an old school hall, like some secret society, Amar greeted me with a kind smile and a friendly handshake. He had a soft voice and an Einstein moustache. Now he is moving his knight to c6. Sometimes Amar makes his moves slowly, thoughtfully. Other times, he takes seconds, as if the order of play was pre-ordained and he was just there in some formal capacity as piecemover. What else can I say about Amar? Oh yes. He is destroying me.

(Some images courtesy of BoardGameGeek.com)

Pip: Shut Up and Sit down – despite the confrontational name – is almost always a hive of lovely cardboardy activity. That’s why I started playing games with them and that’s why I’m working with them now.

Almost always.

But sometimes in gaming there are acts of betrayal, of contrarian buttheadedness, so large they cannot be forgotten. Instead they lurk in your mental back pocket, ready to be drawn out at a moments notice – reminders that these glorious friends and colleague care as much about boardgames as you do and will do almost anything for a few victory points. Or a cheap laugh.

I’m not talking about the lower level stuff here. This isn’t about how Quinns will fail to tell you a rule until partway through the game (“Oh! Did I tell you about [rule which suddenly advantages what Quinns has been doing and nullifies any and all Pip-strats]?”). No. This is about Brendan and this is about City of Horror.

Quinns: Here we go.

Warning: Contains opinions.

Quinns: I CAN’T… LOOK AT IT…

IT’S SO BEAAAUUUTIFUUUL

Quinns: Like the M People or a fart, today we’re Moving on Up with our team’s Top 25 games ever.

Have you guys started guessing at the top 10 yet? You must at least have had a guess at number 1. Go on. It’s just a bit of fun. No shame in it.

Quinns: We’re back! Like a chicken rolling down a hill, SU&SD has started and won’t stop until we’ve reached the bottom of this mess.

Let’s see what golden games we’re squawking about today, eh?

Quinns: Oh my GOODNESS GRAVY, this week we’re giving you something you’ve been asking for for 3 and a half years. A list of Shut Up & Sit Down’s top 25 games of all time, ordered from our least most favourite to most most favourite, and all just time for Christmas.

An awful lot of thought, time and love went into this list, so we very much hope you enjoy it. We’ll be posting one instalment a day, right the way through to the end of the week. A bit like an advent calendar, except too short and every day it’s just us again. You’re probably best off taking it back to the shop.

Without further ado, let’s KICK THIS BABY OFF A NOTCH.

Continuing what we started with Brendan’s Correct Way to Scratch and Leigh’s Month as an Assassin, we’ve got our third ever spoken article! Quinns wants to tell you why drinking games are important. In fact, he’s waiting for you in our podcast section right now.

Too nervous for a private performance? It’s understandable, of course. You’ll find a written transcript right after the jump.

Take your pick ladies, gentlemen, and teenagers who definitely shouldn’t be reading this. No. We wouldn’t condone that at all. Enjoy, everyone!

Quinns: Morning everybody! This week the entire board game industry is rammed into Essen’s convention centre, so the only news story we have is of a new collectible Magic: The Gathering board game! It looks an awful lot like Heroscape but less interesting. Mike said it best: “Monochromatic miniatures, poor terrain, and absolutely no chance that a dinosaur will eat a robot while an army man watches.”

If you’re interested in the details then Board Game Geek has already uploaded a comprehensive Essen preview video, but I’m unconvinced. I want to revisit Magic: The Gathering like I want to revisit puberty.

Speaking of which, as we don’t have any more news this week why don’t I share my sad story of playing Magic when I was a kid? Take a seat. Or if you’re at work, slide your wheely chair a little closer to your PC, creating a calming snugness between your thighs and your desk. It’s almost like being in bed.

Paul: Everybody should make things. When I was younger, I used to worry that I didn’t contribute enough things to the world. I watched TV programmes made by other people on a device invented by someone else in a house built by someone else. I was a consumer, forever digesting other people’s outputs. It made me very restless.

It wasn’t entirely true. I’d been making things since I was small. Most of those things had been entirely fictitious, but that didn’t stop me writing about them, embellishing them and trying to bring them to life. World-building is an underrated thing and I hope you all try it some time. Actually, I hope you’ve all already been trying it some time or other, because I can’t imagine anyone not. Surely we all enjoy flexing our creative muscles and going on flights of fantasy? I bet you’ve all got at least one weird and wild word inside your head.

Here’s one for you to enjoy, with its setting, its skills and its shiny dice.

Rooky Errors: A Story of Chess

Shut Up & Sit Down’s Tales of Betrayal!

SU&SD’s Top 25 Games Ever! #5 to the #1

SU&SD’s Top 25 Games Ever! #10 to #6

SU&SD’s Top 25 Games Ever! #15 to #11

SU&SD’s Top 25 Games Ever! #20 to #16

SU&SD’s Top 25 Games Ever! #25 to #21

Quinns’ Favourite Drinking Games

The Magic Position

Paul’s Roleplay Design Diary! Part 4

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