Matt: Diamonds and bananaaas!
They will slip you up, and please you
They can stimulate and tease you
Bring icecream in the night
and I promise I might DESSERT YOUUU
Quinns: Bananas are forever,
Hold one up and then caress it,
Touch it, stroke it, and undress it,
I can see every part,
And I know in my heart they’re GOOD CAAARDS!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BABA!
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Paul: February has fallen out of the future and landed smack in the present, flat on its face and groaning. The strangest of months, it likes to be inconsistent with its length, but it has at least brought us some very exciting news. It was news that had me running to the Shut Up & Sit Down office, my arms full, stumbling through the rain.
Spyfall 2! Surely the biggest, biggest news we’ll have this month, and maybe some of the biggest news we’ll have all year, is that Spyfall 2 is coming. Spyfall 2. SPYFALL 2. A sequel to one of our favourite games and to one of last year’s biggest and most deserved hits. Spyfall 2.
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Do you want the good news, or the bad news?
The good news is that Food Chain Magnate is an absolute barn stormer of a game. A delicious puzzle patty rolled in thematic batter, deep fried across years of playtesting(?).
The bad news is that it became almost entirely sold out between us receiving this game and publishing the review. Your best bet is to pre-order straight from Splotter, or reserve a copy at your friendly local game shop (where it should be cheaper).
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Quinns: Ooh, hold on to your helms! Today we’re looking at Blood Rage. That’s exciting because (a) this box gathered positive reviews last year like a corpse gathers flies, and (b) it’s called BLOOD RAGE. If you were thinking of buying this miniature-stuffed box, read on! If you were hoping to find out what a blood rage is, I warn you: I still have absolutely no idea.
2-4 players in Blood Rage control viking clans, fighting for glory in the final moments before Ragnorok shatters the world and drowns it beneath the sea. Your goal is to pillage the board’s villages, undo your friends’ plans and lay claim to the prestigious central area containing the great tree Yggdrasil which connects the 9 worlds of Norse mythology. Then you pillage that, too.
Once again: I have absolutely no idea.
On to the miniatures!
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You ask, and we provide! Our second ever How to Play video walks you through your first game of the sublime 3rd edition of Fury of Dracula.
Once again, this isn’t a COMPLETE rules explanation (we forgot to mention that Dracula can’t be found in sea spaces and doesn’t place encounter cards, for a start), but it should certainly give everyone a ruddy good grasp of the game before you get stuck into the dirty business of questions and manuals.
Enjoy, everybody!
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What would it be like to live in a world without words? How difficult might it be to communicate the idea of a person, an object or a work of art through nothing but a collection of slightly ambiguous icons? How would that even go?
If you think the answers to those questions, in turn, are “Pretty awkward!” “Very difficult!” and “It would be a disaster!” then you’re already primed for our first playthrough video of 2016. Paul sat down with some of his friends, a copy of Concept and some very simple rules:
This is what happened.
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Hilary: Ross Cowman’s Fall of Magic is, indeed, magical. It’s the kind of game you become immersed in, losing track of time, only to find yourself wandering out later from a rich and compelling world of your own creation. Like some wardrobe-portal to a new and fantastical land, you’ll find yourself yearning to find a way back.
Luckily for all of us, continuing our journey to Umbra doesn’t require any train wrecks or magical paintings. Only one to three other players, and a few more hours of our time.
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Paul: Quinns, are you ready to do this?
Quinns: You ask that question and, immediately, I’m concerned.
Paul: It’s fine. It’s great. I have a great idea. This fortnight’s news has some big announcements but also games about POISON and STRING and CASTLES, which are three of my favourite things! I’ve decided the best thing would be if I beatboxed the news and you… sort of sang a song?
Quinns: No. No, that’s a dreadful idea.
Paul: Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG Ah-BFFFRRRTTHHGG.
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Could this be the end for Shut Up & Sit Down? The year has barely started and yet it already seems that Quinns is… is leaving us? For a board game?
Face it, this was inevitable. We all knew the day would come. But why, of all games, was it Concordia? What’s so special about it? And how will Matt and Paul cope with the news?
That’s a lot of questions, but fear not. All these and more are answered in this video. Probably. Maybe.
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Whether you’d rather someone else teach your friends to play, you want people to know the rules before they come over, or simply want a closer look at this incredible game, our How to Play videos are there for you.
Not heard of Pandemic Legacy, our game of 2015? You should correct that immediately!
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