Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 19/10/15

deadly briefcases, doomtroopers, fluffy hats, rapacious awe

Quinns: We proceed directly to the big news of the week, do not pass “Go”, definitely do not collect £200. Put it back!

Stonemaier Games has launched their Scythe Kickstarter upon the waiting world. At the time of writing it’s received a million dollars in just six days, and I’ve never found it so easy to see why.

You have Jakub Rozalski’s art and worldbuilding, pairing mechs with a rich tapestry of 19th century Eastern Europe. You have a timely design, offering the economic engine-building of Eurogames with the conflict and theme and tiny mechs that are going to get players excited. You’ve got a selection of editions to choose from, each of them generous, there’s friendly shipping to Europe, Canada and Australia, and you have Stonemaier Games’ money back guarantee. Don’t like the game after you’ve played it once? They’ll pay for return shipping and refund you completely.

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Review: 7 Wonders: Duel

spooky nans, fingering pickles, it's you, you're the wonder

Classical cock-blocking simulator 7 Wonders was one of the first boxes we ever recommended on SU&SD. We couldn’t believe it. How could a game could be so clever, so beautiful, and support 2 to 7 players with no downtime?

Today, Paul and Quinns have reunited to review 7 Wonders: Duel. A brand-new 2 player game of the same old ancient conflicts.

Have the boys still got what it takes? Or will history… forget them?

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How to Get Started with Roleplaying!

basically you're going to be sweaty and look out for direwolves

Artwork from Jason Morningstar's Night Witches

[Our header image is official art for Numenera.]

Hilary: So, you wanna play an RPG.

You’ve read the Shut Up & Sit Down reviews of Fiasco or The Burning Wheel. You’re daydreaming about a campaign of Apocalypse World. The idea of playing a baker in Ryuutama makes your heart melt.

You’ve bought the game, you’ve read the rules, you’ve gathered your friends, you’ve sharpened your pencils and now the magic happens. Well, uh, you assume this is where the magic happens. See, the rules didn’t necessarily explain how you were gonna “roleplay”. Just “then you play out the scene” or “make choices as your character” or “someone decides when the scene ends” or …hmm.

Hmmm.

It turns out there are spaces between the rules of any game left for you, the players, to fill in. Which is all well and good, but what if you have no idea what to do and you’re kinda worried maybe you’re gonna fuck this whole thing up and oh gosh maybe you’re not cool enough or nerdy enough or experienced enough or what if you forget which die is which or…

It’s okay! I’ve got you. Deep breaths. We’ve got this.

Sometimes magic just needs a helping hand.

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Review: Meteor

high risk, high reward, high altitude explosions, high five

[EDIT: Since publishing this article the 2nd edition of Meteor has gone live on Kickstarter! That’s probably a wiser investment than buying the first edition Quinns reviews here.]

Quinns: Imagine you and your friends are protecting the earth from meteors, assembling rockets from the cards in your hand. Sounds fun, right?

Now imagine you don’t have the right cards for a successful launch. And the clock is ticking and you only have five minutes to clear the board. And now imagine you don’t know how big a payload to launch at each meteor, and if you launch one that’s too big the terrific explosion will accelerate all the other meteors.

Oh, yes. Today we’re reviewing Meteor! It’s mean, exhausting and the art design ranges from underwhelming to unclear, but it’s a megaton of fun. For what it’s worth, if you like high-fiving people, this box could be considered a cardboard portal to the high-five dimension.

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Games News! 12/10/15

trilobyte comment threads, indigo livin', night witching

Quinns: Good morning everybody! News: I’ve got it, you want it. Let’s conduct this transaction like a couple of consenting adults. Stop looking at the door! News is entirely legal in the UK.

Board Game Geek News has a Big Book of Madness designer diary up, and goodness me this game looks like a treat. It’s a deeply co-operative, Harry Potter-style deckbuilder, but with a more flexible interpretation of deckbuilding that I find very welcome.

Players are attempting to close an evil book and defeat all the monsters spilling out of it, but you’re not simply slowly improving your deck as the game goes on. You can improve your deck, or spend your turn putting good cards in your friend’s deck, or trying to expunge horrible Madness cards that you’ll slowly amass as the game goes on, or actually closing the damn book.

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SU&SD Play… Funemployed

wasps, condoms, cold black hearts, consolation prizes

Good news! Funemployed, a game of applying for jobs with the world’s worst CV, is so good that it’s snatched away Pictomania‘s paper crown to become our favourite lightweight party game.

Better news! Now you can watch Matt play it with the cast of Regular Features, his VERY RUDE comedy podcast (the video’s not rude, though).

Other good news: Funemployed is currently available with several of our partners.

Enjoy your weekend, everybody!

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Dumb Games, or “Why I Sometimes Yearn To Punch You”

or "the steady self-destruction of an irish boy" take your pick

[Brendan returns! The author of Rooky Errors: A Story of Chess and The Correct Way to Scratch is back, this time talking about Dumb Games. Enjoy, everyone.]

“Did you ever play ‘Butt Comin’ at Ye’?” said Colly. We were walking through Lurgan, my hometown, and we had begun to talk about some of the more esoteric memories of our shared childhood. Fifty metres away, the town’s police station rose like a fortress out of the street, surrounded in green sheets of amoured metal, steel grates and breezeblock walls the colour of the Irish sky. We walked on past it.

“Butt comin’ at ye?” I said.

“Dave and I used to play it. You finish smoking your cigarette and you say ‘here Dave, butt comin’ at ye’ and then you just…”

He mimed flicking a cigarette. I laughed.

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Games News! 05/10/15

lungs, limbs, beaks, pokey continents, spinning surgeons

Paul: Quinns hello Quinns good morning Quinns have you seen? There’s a few interesting things that came in the Games News Sack this morning.

Quinns: That’s not the “Games News Sack”, Paul, that’s the postman’s bag.

Paul: Well he won’t be needing it any more. The important thing is that we’ve got the Games News today. As well as everyone else’s mail. And a few spare, loose limbs.

Quinns: Okay then. I guess now is as good a time as any to start telling people about Tail Feathers! A new skirmish game from Plaid Hat arriving in just a few months that combines Mice & Mystics with the X-Wing Miniatures game.

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Review: Ashes: Rise of the Phoenixborn

newton's prison, shoe precipitation, a few couple of dice

This week, Paul takes a trip to the clinic, as a result of looking at another new title from Plaid Hat Games. To everyone’s surprise, he finds himself deckbuilding with Ashes: Rise of the Phoenixborn. Deckbuilding! Whatever will happen next?

Seriously, what will happen next? Paul’s been unable to get hold of Quinns since setting up the North American office and now he’s acting a little out of character.

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Review: Evolution & the Flight Expansion

rise of the planet of the chicken nuggets, arousal of the birds from outer space

Matt: I’m a robust bird looking to nest who is terrified of fat carnivores, looking to meet someone with a GSOH and wait this isn’t OK Cupid

Quinns: No, you silly goose! It’s a review of Evolution, the new game from North Star Games that is about evolution.

Evolution starts with 2-6 players being given control of their very own bouncing baby bit of cardboard, tracking the only two features a parent should care about: POPULATION and BODY SIZE. Each turn players receive cards depicting new evolutionary traits, you all play one to contribute to the food on the Watering Hole, and you play the rest onto your species, either as the traits they depict or to increase that species’ population or size, or you can burn cards to create whole new species.

And that’s the entire game! With these wonderfully simple rules, you’re off to the races. Although at these races we’ll simultaneously be betting on horses and praying our favourite horse doesn’t get eaten by another horse.

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