Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Cacao

meeplesworth, reverse waterfall, lather yourself

Paul: Do you like jungles? How do you feel about jungles? I think I would be a disaster in a jungle. Coming from the mild and unremarkable environs of suburban Hampshire, where any deviation from the overcast and temperate ambience causes wonderment and confusion amongst the locals, I would be helpless. It seems like everything in the jungle wants to kill or poison you. Everything is massive. The trees are massive. The cats are massive. The ants are massive.

But when I saw Cacao, I saw a safe jungle that I could enjoy, a jungle free of carnivorous plants, raging thunderstorms and toxic frogs. Yes, I will happily admit that the first thing that attracted me to the game was how Carcassonne-like it seemed. It has meeples. It has square tiles you lay down as you map out a patchwork world. How gentle! I thought. How soothing. There would be no rumble in the jungle here, just a… while with some tiles?

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RPG Review: The Burning Wheel

marauding, cooking, failing, the preferred flavour of fun

Lately I’ve had Burning Wheel on my mind.

Some friends recently started up a streamed campaign with Roll20, and I tuned in to watch all 4 hours of their character creation. I joked around in chat, explained bits of the rules and mechanics to people who asked, and generally had a great time. But I haven’t been watching them actually play. I’ve stayed away partially because the timing doesn’t quite work for me, partially because one of my roommates is in the game and I can hear him talking in real time and then again 10 seconds later via Twitch’s time delay, but, most of all, because I am way too jealous.

Burning Wheel is one of those games I’ve played just enough to fall in love with, but not nearly enough to be sick of. Or even remotely satisfied.

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Games News! 10/08/15

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a game of lobotomy

Paul: It’s Games News time! Welcome, everybody, welcome. Please, come into my Games News hovel, the tiny hut in which I construct all of our Games News by hand, painstakingly assembling each tiny cog, ratchet and spring, bent over my work from dawn to dusk.

Today’s Games News is a special, post GenCon Games News, with no loud noises or big names. Instead, we’ve worked hard to bring you a few what you might call artisanal news pieces. Some are funny, some are very serious, but they are all the choicest pieces of news. Nobody brings you better Games News than Shut Up & Sit Down.

Quinns: So let’s start with some candles.

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Podcast #31: Return of the Gen-Cast

Pip's horrible species, Matt's horrible healthcare, Quinns' horrible adventure, Paul's biker gang

(This podcast is also available as a video.) Last year team SU&SD hustled 300 people into a dingy Gen Con annex to record a live podcast. It was incredible. So this year we did it again! After a shaky start where Matt, Quinns and Pip realise their audience is only there to hear about their … Read more

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The Second Live Podcast

Pip's horrible species, Matt's horrible healthcare, Quinns' horrible adventure, Paul's biker gang

(This video is also available as a podcast.)

Last year team SU&SD hustled 300 people into a dingy Gen Con annex to record a live podcast. It was incredible. So this year we did it again!

After a shaky start where Matt, Quinns and Pip realise their audience is only there to hear about their hotel, the board game chat begins in earnest. We discuss the croquet mallets of T.I.M.E. Stories, the wandering chicken nuggets of Evolution and waste disposal in The Bloody Inn. Then it’s time for QUESTION STACK ‘N FALL! Which is different from Question Jenga by about £8.

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Review: Codenames

deadly words, intense fuss, your horrible idiot lab rat friends

Quinns: In an age where we can fit dice on rings and hold Battlestar Galactica LARPs in decommissioned warships, team SU&SD has learned that rules can only hold us back. The only rule we have left is that before we review a game, it has to be available for our readers to buy it.

Today, we’re breaking that rule!

Codenames was the smash hit of Gen Con this year. It’s still perched happily atop BoardGameGeek’s “Hotness” sidebar, it sold out despite having a terrible name and a terrible box, and it’s the game I heard most people gossiping about. Under such crushing hype, and knowing that articles will soon be flowing in, today we’re offering our review early.

Let’s start with two words: Vlaada Chvatil.

Then another five: He’s done it again.

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Games News! 03/08/15

shame tokens, bee cake, ok it turns out bee cake is good for you

Quinns: My god. It’s 7:00pm here in the UK, I left my soul somewhere in Detroit and my legs ache from dragging 25 review copies up the hill to my house. It must be the day after Gen Con!

The live podcast will be uploaded on Wednesday, and our Gen Con special episode will be edited and posted (with a bit of luck) on Friday. Today, let’s just see if I can manage the Games News. Where to start? Where to end?

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Review: Carcassonne

regretful and lachrymose, not a winker, someone else's legs

While the rest of team SU&SD is away at GenCon, engaging in all sorts of cardboard debauchery, Paul takes the opportunity to sneakily make a video about an old classic and personal favourite, explaining why he thinks Carcassonne deserves the video treatment.

He also cooks himself.

We have nothing but apologies to offer for this video being a little late. That cooking (a pretty serious one), combined with some audio gremlins, was a bit of a setback. Don’t worry, Paul is now regularly lathering himself in various balms.

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Review: Arctic Scavengers: Recon

minty pears, an ice cream snowdrift, krazy kannibals, sultry spies

Quinns: HELLO! And keep your voice down. It’s me, Arctic Scavengers Quinns, from our Arctic Scavengers review! Contrary to popular belief I didn’t die at the 10:26 mark. Like all good cliffhanger TV you didn’t see me get shot, leaving the screenwriters free to bring me back at a whim.

And we’ve got one heck of a juicy whim for you today. Arctic Scavengers: Recon is a big expansion for this phenomenal deckbuilding game of frosty bluffs, fully compatible with the “HQ” expansion in the base game. It’s also available in a box that combines Recon, HQ and the base game, which is quite the offers if this deceitful game slipped you by the first time.

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Games News! 27/07/15

furry dracula, master mind, cat pee, spooke ghosts

Quinns: The Shut Up & Sit Down site was down today from 10:45am GMT to 5pm GMT. That meant we couldn’t access the backend, so we couldn’t write the news. So we did it in this Google Doc instead.

It’s been a FANTASTIC news week, though! You must go take a look. Fantasy Flight announced a new edition of Fury of Dracula! Bezier Games announced One Night Ultimate Vampire! There’s an amazing article about the English-language reimagining of Mysterium, and we learn about one of board games’ most iconic covers.

Enjoy, everybody! And try not to make too much of a mess…

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