Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Trains: Rising Sun

curvaceous foreign geography, laying rails, normal trains, longer than average trains

Quinns: Bad news, readers. Our efforts to appease the grand old month of Expansionanuary seem to be for naught. The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting darker. It’s now so cold in my flat that the carpet crunches underfoot.

We must have faith that this will end, friends. Unless the rumours are true, and this is indeed the year of twenty fifspansion.

It’s a possibility too horrid to contemplate. In the meantime, we will stay the course. Here’s a review of Trains: Rising Sun.

100 Comments

Games News! 26/01/15

the game dimension, exploding kittens, mouse bollocks, maximum mandom

Quinns: We open this week with Six Games to Introduce Your Kid to Roleplaying, an article published over the weekend by Shut Up & Sit Down’s own Matt Thrower. Some would say teaching your child that they’re an imaginary druid called Elwad constitutes child cruelty. Not this site, though.

I’m mentioning this first because I found the above image via Google image search and needed it on our front page. It’s perfect. The glazed expression of the father. The frozen terror on the boy’s face. “The dice will tell us whether you live or die, son. Don’t cry, now. Would Elwad cry? Of course not.”

93 Comments

Review: War Stories

plague-ridden cardboard, licks of sense, wild paper dragons

(Images sourced from BoardGameGeek.)

Thrower: You’re a platoon sergeant, patrolling the Normandy hedgerows in 1944. Suddenly, a burst of automatic fire opens up from the treeline. You don’t know what it is: it could be a machine gun, or a tank. It could be a lone rifleman, or the forward elements of an enemy brigade. Each demands a different course of action, and your life, and those of your men, depend on your picking the right one. What do you do?

Replicating this is the central problem faced by tactical wargame designers. Good tactics start with determining who your enemy is and where they are. Yet for all the effort they put in to simulating weapons and doctrine, tactical board games fail to take this into account. Most of the time you can see exactly what you’re facing.

Two new designers have decided to tackle this intractable issue with their first release, War Stories. It comes in two flavours, Liberty Road for the Western front and Red Storm for the east. As if implementing hidden movement wasn’t ambition enough, it also seeks to be realistic, quick-playing and easily learned. That’s two of the wildest dragons in wargaming, slain by the same title. No wonder people flocked to support the kickstarter.

39 Comments

SU&SD Play… Cosmic Encounter

delicious lemon drinks, horrible lizards, the terrible fairgrounds of matt's childhood

First off, be warned that there is an unexpected disco interlude starting at 06:46. Brendan spilled some raw beats on our editing PC and the resulting funk has gotten into the motherboard, but we’re uploading a fix (with slightly better overall audio) now. It should be up by midnight GMT.

Second off, allow us to present the crown jewel in our Expansionanuary festivities! A ginormous Let’s Play of us finishing a full-size game of Cosmic Encounter, proving once and for all in a controlled, scientific environment just how much fun this game can be.

Enjoy, everybody!

A Guide to Cosmic Encounter’s 5 Expansions!

dangerous bombs, sugar-free minuts, the socialist dream, the sycophant

Matt: What a wonderful world of Cosmic Encounters! If we only had spaceships and SPACE (in our hearts) then we might be able to build a better society on the fringes of our fragile galaxy.

Quinns: What are you doing Matt, this is a board games thing.

Matt: I’m getting everyone in that feel-good 1970’s vibe, when peace and hope and good-vibes ruled the planet and Cosmic Encounter first came out. A decade when man first stepped upon the moon, a famous rock band called Beatles was formed, and everyone had a nice time with flowers.

Quinns: I haven’t got time to fix you, Mattt, so let’s move on. Cosmic Encounter is a brilliant thing. Possibly THE BEST thing, as concluded in our gargantuan Top 25 list at the end of last year, and people who haven’t heard of it should check out this review. But the time for twenty-fives and tops is behind us, and we’re deep into the fog of a cruel Expansionanuary.

Matt: That’s true! I can’t even feel my fingers and fear that my extremities may soon be gone. But that darkness is being somewhat tempered by the fact that we now get to write a HOT ARTICLE about every single Cosmic expansion that’s been released to date. Five different boxes of madness that add a total of 115 (that’s one hundred and fifteen) new aliens to the base game – a staggering increase of 230% to the base game’s already ludicrous wad of 50 aliens.

117 Comments

Review: Out of Dodge

guys i'm dying, guys listen to me, i'm dying, oh god, oh no, guys

Brendan: Out of Dodge is a game that understands one of the golden rules of the criminal genre: a botched heist is a good heist. As four outlaws on the run from a job that went terribly wrong, there is room here for hi-jinks, comedy, seriousness and treachery. It is a short, one-shot RPG from Jason Morningstar of Fiasco fame and it has a dastardly fun set up: you arrange four seats in the shape of a car (or use an actual real-life moving car), get in and argue about what went wrong while you speed away from the crime scene with a bag of loot much lighter than you expected.

Oh yeah, and watch out for all the blood because one of you is dying.

45 Comments

Games News! Bog Wood Edition

tasty walrus, teflon dice, russian wood, my shirtless father

Quinns: Good morning table gamers! It is the 19th of January in the year 2015. Whatever crazy stuff is happening in your life, you are reading the Games News. After that, there will be lovely comments. Rely on these simple things. It’s all going to be OK.

Once again our cover story goes to the prettiest game, this time forthcoming Susumu Kawasaki release Traders of Osaka. Due out in 2015, this is actually a reimplementation of Susumu’s 2006 game Traders of Carthage, and it’s unclear whether anything’s changed about the game itself.

Fine by me! I’d buy a re-implementation of whooping cough if it was this sexy. God, I’m such a fop.

Review: Xia: Legends of a Drift System

bastard captain of the a****** ship, shia, xia, velocity wardens

It’s big, it’s as colourful as a bag of sweets and it wants YOU to become a space-faring superstar. Xia: Legends of a Drift System was one of the Kickstarter success stories of 2013, and a retail version is finally upon us, complete with pre-painted ships and metal space-coins.

Quinns has buckled himself into the driver’s seat of this board-behemoth to deliver the official SU&SD verdict.

219 Comments

Podcast #24: On Poor Quality Property

hectic days, fungus rooms, sad big spoons, sexy bodies (alive), sexy bodies (dead)

Oho! What’s this? Board gaming’s most excitable hour of chatter is back, as Matt and Quinns discuss everything they played and saw over the New Year, including a visit to London’s first board game cafe. After that, this one’s all about crap houses. The boys discuss the terrible property investments they made in Last Will and the Getting Sacked expansion, Matt makes fun of Quintin’s horrible estate in Castles of Mad King Ludwig, before finally the boys discuss how being tall makes it harder to build pagodas in Pagoda.

134 Comments

Games News! 5 Star edition

mesopotamia, playful dragons, janspansionary, fabled burgers, alien mountains

Quinns: Some things are just better together! Chocolate and peanut butter. Head injuries and medical care. Tigris & Euphrates.

This week, board games’ dignified finishing school of Fantasy Flight announced a new version of the European classic. For the uninitiated, Tigris & Euphrates sees 2-4 players each in control of a civilization in ancientest Mesopotamia, and accurately depicts how these factions would conquer one another by covering the desert in big square tiles and sometimes an intimidatingly chunky pyramid.

I’ve actually played Tigris & Euphrates. The short version of that story is that, like a lot of Reiner Knizia games, it made me wish I was outside climbing a tree. The even shorter version is that it is pretty good, if you like that kind of thing (read: tiles, Mesopotamians).

126 Comments

Feeds