Shut Up & Sit Down

A Guide to Cosmic Encounter’s 5 Expansions!

dangerous bombs, sugar-free minuts, the socialist dream, the sycophant

Matt: What a wonderful world of Cosmic Encounters! If we only had spaceships and SPACE (in our hearts) then we might be able to build a better society on the fringes of our fragile galaxy.

Quinns: What are you doing Matt, this is a board games thing.

Matt: I’m getting everyone in that feel-good 1970’s vibe, when peace and hope and good-vibes ruled the planet and Cosmic Encounter first came out. A decade when man first stepped upon the moon, a famous rock band called Beatles was formed, and everyone had a nice time with flowers.

Quinns: I haven’t got time to fix you, Mattt, so let’s move on. Cosmic Encounter is a brilliant thing. Possibly THE BEST thing, as concluded in our gargantuan Top 25 list at the end of last year, and people who haven’t heard of it should check out this review. But the time for twenty-fives and tops is behind us, and we’re deep into the fog of a cruel Expansionanuary.

Matt: That’s true! I can’t even feel my fingers and fear that my extremities may soon be gone. But that darkness is being somewhat tempered by the fact that we now get to write a HOT ARTICLE about every single Cosmic expansion that’s been released to date. Five different boxes of madness that add a total of 115 (that’s one hundred and fifteen) new aliens to the base game – a staggering increase of 230% to the base game’s already ludicrous wad of 50 aliens.

117 Comments

Review: Out of Dodge

guys i'm dying, guys listen to me, i'm dying, oh god, oh no, guys

Brendan: Out of Dodge is a game that understands one of the golden rules of the criminal genre: a botched heist is a good heist. As four outlaws on the run from a job that went terribly wrong, there is room here for hi-jinks, comedy, seriousness and treachery. It is a short, one-shot RPG from Jason Morningstar of Fiasco fame and it has a dastardly fun set up: you arrange four seats in the shape of a car (or use an actual real-life moving car), get in and argue about what went wrong while you speed away from the crime scene with a bag of loot much lighter than you expected.

Oh yeah, and watch out for all the blood because one of you is dying.

45 Comments

Games News! Bog Wood Edition

tasty walrus, teflon dice, russian wood, my shirtless father

Quinns: Good morning table gamers! It is the 19th of January in the year 2015. Whatever crazy stuff is happening in your life, you are reading the Games News. After that, there will be lovely comments. Rely on these simple things. It’s all going to be OK.

Once again our cover story goes to the prettiest game, this time forthcoming Susumu Kawasaki release Traders of Osaka. Due out in 2015, this is actually a reimplementation of Susumu’s 2006 game Traders of Carthage, and it’s unclear whether anything’s changed about the game itself.

Fine by me! I’d buy a re-implementation of whooping cough if it was this sexy. God, I’m such a fop.

Review: Xia: Legends of a Drift System

bastard captain of the a****** ship, shia, xia, velocity wardens

It’s big, it’s as colourful as a bag of sweets and it wants YOU to become a space-faring superstar. Xia: Legends of a Drift System was one of the Kickstarter success stories of 2013, and a retail version is finally upon us, complete with pre-painted ships and metal space-coins.

Quinns has buckled himself into the driver’s seat of this board-behemoth to deliver the official SU&SD verdict.

219 Comments

Podcast #24: On Poor Quality Property

hectic days, fungus rooms, sad big spoons, sexy bodies (alive), sexy bodies (dead)

Oho! What’s this? Board gaming’s most excitable hour of chatter is back, as Matt and Quinns discuss everything they played and saw over the New Year, including a visit to London’s first board game cafe. After that, this one’s all about crap houses. The boys discuss the terrible property investments they made in Last Will and the Getting Sacked expansion, Matt makes fun of Quintin’s horrible estate in Castles of Mad King Ludwig, before finally the boys discuss how being tall makes it harder to build pagodas in Pagoda.

134 Comments

Games News! 5 Star edition

mesopotamia, playful dragons, janspansionary, fabled burgers, alien mountains

Quinns: Some things are just better together! Chocolate and peanut butter. Head injuries and medical care. Tigris & Euphrates.

This week, board games’ dignified finishing school of Fantasy Flight announced a new version of the European classic. For the uninitiated, Tigris & Euphrates sees 2-4 players each in control of a civilization in ancientest Mesopotamia, and accurately depicts how these factions would conquer one another by covering the desert in big square tiles and sometimes an intimidatingly chunky pyramid.

I’ve actually played Tigris & Euphrates. The short version of that story is that, like a lot of Reiner Knizia games, it made me wish I was outside climbing a tree. The even shorter version is that it is pretty good, if you like that kind of thing (read: tiles, Mesopotamians).

126 Comments

Your Guide to Space Cadets: Resistance is Mostly Futile

death by biscuit, space krakens, a tear in the fabric of board-space

Quinns: Last year we floated the idea of “Expansion January” or “Expansionanuary”, where we’d start the year by revisiting old favourites and seeing how they’ve been updated. Since you guys weren’t entirely repelled by the concept, welcome to the FIRST EVER Shut Up & Sit Down Expansionanuary.

We’re kicking it off with what’s being called the “first” expansion for Space Cadets, Resistance is Mostly Futile. Remember how we first covered Space Cadets with an itemised guide as to why your friends are going to do a terrible job of flying a spaceship together (and then later demonstrated it in a Let’s Play)?

Let’s give you a guide to the new terrors in the expansion! Starting with a new job that nobody’s going to want to do: the Science Station.

1 Comment

Games News! Pingo Pingo Edition

sneaky subs, tired hawaiians, how to shoot friends and influence people

Quinns: GOOOOD MORNING TABLE GAMERS!

Welcome to the official start of SU&SD’s year! We’ve been up to all kinds of unofficial business while you’ve been away, of course. Yesterday I had some friends over to try the print’n’play version of Spyfall, and the week before Matt experienced Fluxx for the first time. He didn’t have to tell us. When we saw him he had tears streaking his face, and kept asking “Why?” over and over, looking for meaning in his shattered life. It was Pirate Fluxx, too. Do leave him some kind words in the comments.

But you’re not here for news about us, are you? About us and our lives and the inescapable entropy afflicting our corporeal forms? You’re here for the hottest scoops in board gaming news and I, for one, wouldn’t dare to waste your time.

184 Comments

…And that’s it for 2014!

the weather outside is frightful, it's not snowing though, it's more like a grey sneeze

Quinns: And so, like the sun disappearing over the horizon or a Christmas pudding slipping down your uncle’s gullet, Shut Up & Sit Down enters it’s holiday hibernation. I’ll abandon the Christmas pudding analogy when I say that we’ll be returning to the world on January 5th. Eat some fibre, Uncle.

It’s been a fantastic year, thanks entirely to the donors who’ve allowed us not just to survive, but grow and plan for the future. Don’t just take my word for it. Behold! A list of the content in 2014 that we’re proudest of, some of which may have slipped you by.

Paul’s 2014 Convention Special

small gamers, gnome leaks, praul fantasy, rub daviau, slow zoom to Oxenfurt

We sent Paul off to Firaxicon and then to BGG Con, to conduct insightful interviews with games designers and to test the water in these foreign lands. He was fine. He’s fine. It’s okay. He came back with lots of info about the upcoming XCOM board game, Kanban: Automotive Revolution and Geek Chic’s fine tables.

Admittedly we haven’t seen him since he uploaded this video. We’re also analysing this video frame-by-frame to figure out who that slender figure is we keep seeing in the background. But we’re positive that he’s fine, and also if you’ve seen his body then please let us know!

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