Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 21/07/14

devastating subjectivity fields, that one forehead game, quinn's car saga, farts

Quinns: Strings! My arch nemesis. First they annoyed the heck out of me during our review of String Railway, now they’re worryingly close to drawing a pentagram at the top of this lovely site. What have strings ever done for us, eh?

The game you can see above is a prototype of Coven, an award-winning Canadian design that’ll be arriving on Kickstarter later this year. Ordinarily I’d only report on a game that’s only planning a Kickstarter if there weren’t any more dramatic stories, for example a new edition of Monopoly or if Paul succeeded at trapping a fart in a jar. Coven, though, really does sound rather special.

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Your Favourite Gaming Moment

games?, dads, the worst ever hypothetical game of stratego

It’s been a weird week. Heck, it’s been a weird few years. Let’s stop for a second, take a breath, and remember what this is all about. Everyone! If you feel like it, post your favourite gaming memory in the comments. Normal service will be resumed next week.

— Team SU&SD

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Review: Eight-Minute Empire

my only regret is that i have but one life to give to the glorious nation of brendovia

Paul: Brendan! That’s a fine flag there. What is that the flag of? An organisation? A cause? An idea? Please don’t tell me it’s the flag of those most arbitrary of constructions, the nation.

Brendan: This is the flag of the Brendovian Empire. You will respect it. You will honour it. You will put it on mugs and t-shirts and probably socks at some point. We have destroyed our enemies. Laid waste to continents. Far is the reach of Brendovia. No persons in the world match the might of our brave men and women. No foreign fiend can meet the ferocity of our will. Our national dish is lemon tart.

Paul: Is that… Is that the Brendovian flag on the news? Is that Panama? Has your empire invaded Panama!? I don’t understand. When did all this happen? When did you found an empire!?

Brendan: About eight minutes ago.

Paul: Oh no. I know exactly what you’ve been playing.

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Games News! 14/07/14

the news salsa, mr x. don donderson, a tender mike moment, the cool martini problem

Quinns: Morning, everybody! It’s a very special edition of the Games News today as we’re joined by SU&SD accomplice Leigh Alexander, former news director of Gamasutra!

Now Leigh, that’s an impressive resume, but don’t worry if you can’t keep up with the salsa-like tempo of the Games News.

Leigh: Thanks, Quinns. I’m really looking forward to this unique and challenging opportunity and I hope to learn a lot as well as have a great time doing it.

Quinns: That’s a great attitude.

Leigh: A positive attitude is the first step to a successful career.

Quinns: Fantastic. Let’s keep that mindset as we move forward in this space.

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Review: BattleLore

whoa there hippogriff, fireside chat, The Forest of Lewisham

Battle Lore! Battle or…? Battle Lore!

This week, Paul seems to have found exactly the sort of game that would appeal to his twelve-year-old self, a game of magic and monsters, of hexes and strategy. Battle Lore is Fantasy Flight’s attempt at an easily-digestible miniatures wargame, the kind of thing where you slaughter an army in an afternoon and still have time for biscuits.

But is that going to be your sort of thing? The game, we mean, not the biscuits. After all, Battle Lore may have a bigger, bolder relative whose company you might well prefer…

Apologies for the lateness of this, everybody! Sometimes the internet is a very slow thing, but we don’t give up easy.

EDIT: It seems we have a problem with the right sound channel. An audio fix is on its way!

ANOTHER EDIT: The audio should be behaving better now. Sorry about that!

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Brendan’s Correct Way to Scratch

scratch theorists, aryan myths, the tear, come ooonnnnNNNNNNNNNAAaaghh

Have you ever considered the humble scratchcard? Brendan would like you to. There’s a ceremony involved, you see. Like a papery King Canute, you must take joy in coaxing a tide of wealth forward, and agonise in watching it retreat. Within the scratchcard, perhaps, is all of life. A written transcript is available here.

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Brendan’s Correct Way to Scratch

scratch theorists, aryan myths, come ooonnnnnnnnnn, nnnaaaaghh, the tear

[We’re trying something a little different here. Brendan recently wrote an article about scratchcards on his blog which we thought was rather special. He’s kindly let us republish it here as text (below) and as an improbably transporting spoken word piece in our podcast section. Take your pick, everybody! And enjoy.]

Brendan: Scratchcards – the most worldly and humble of the lesser gambles. Although I am far from being one of the people who are inexplicably and tragically addicted to them, scratchcards nevertheless maintain a power over me. I was talking about them with some friends recently and concluded that my enjoying a scratchcard has more to do with ritual than money. Although, let’s be honest, like all forms of gambling, the money is at the nucleus of its strange charm.

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Review: Anomia

pulling a wild one, bellied laughs, tongue springs, hot team quillian and deen

Brendan: Oh man, since Paul and Quinns left at the end of the sci-fi special I have nobody to play board games with. Hey, Supercomputer, do you want to play Anomia with me? It’s a quick-fire party game about blurting out words under pressure and beating your friends to the punch. You’ll like it!

Supercomputer: Anomia. Latin origin. Meaning “without name”. Would you like me to run a simulation of the universe without names, nouns, pronouns, designa—

Brendan: No! I mean, no Supercomputer, but thank you. I just want to play this simple card game with someone. I’m sad that my friends left. You remember what we talked about? Sad? It’s an emotion.

Supercomputer: Runtime error. Do you mean when those called Paul Dean and Quintin Smith inexplicably abandoned you to become an accountant and a low cost assassin respectively? Reducing the number of your human friendship circle from 2 to 0?

Brendan: It’s not zero! Matt is still my friend.

Supercomputer: Initial and ongoing analysis of his facial expressions indicates that the one called Matt Lees regards you as subhuman and without merit. Would you like me to run a simulation of some friends?

Brendan: …

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Games News! 07/07/14

panic in hand land, real zombies, timequakes, the path of souls, bursting assistants

Quinns: Good morning, my playful pickles! Before we start, realise what a marvelous audience you are. You want for nothing more than a glimpse of the fun you’ll be having with your friends in the future. You’re beautiful, all of you.

If you’re anything like me, Hand Made Wonders (pictured above) will be the source at least one evening of boozy giggling. This is an upcoming Taiwanese game where players build monuments out of their hands, but where your left AND right hand will need 3 points each to win, and everyone’s hand is part of a different team (determined by the two different-coloured bracelets you’re wearing).

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The Opener: Gravwell & Wicked Beans

the singularity, warp gates, the ninth dimension, gravity, beans

It’s an Opener! With Quinns! Has the world gone mad? No, but Gravwell definitely has. It’s a racing game set in the ninth dimension with no gravity except that created by your friends. And weirdest of all, it actually works!

And finally, two years after we first mentioned it, you guys are receiving the recipe for Quinns’ Wicked Beans. Enjoy, everybody!

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