Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Hey, That’s My Fish!

eldery inuits, the horrid adélie, go with the floe, unadulterated children

Paul: Hi Brendan!

Brendan: Paul.

Paul: Would you like to get together and review Hey, That’s My Fish!? I am not incredulous, it’s just that the title of the game ends with an exclamation point and then I wanted to add a question mark because I am asking you, Brendan, a question.

Brendan: What is your question?

Paul: Why is your hood up? I am asking you this question to highlight that your hood is up because our readers, at home, cannot see how you have decided to array your attire.

Brendan: My hood is up because it is cold. It is cold because we have been playing Hey, That’s My Fish, which is a game set on some melting ice. Melting, probably from global warming, but still cold.

Paul: That’s good! Because I just asked you if you wanted to review it would you get with the program please okay I’m going to insert a page break and we’re getting down to this and I want a lot less of your attitude today because frankly-

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Paul’s Roleplay Design Diary! Part 2

the accounting skill suite, statty protestations, a desparate die, beefsweats

Paul: Wow. Thank you all so much for your feedback and interest in the first installment of my RPG design diary. I’ve been tweaking and tinkering games since I was tiny, but starting something from scratch is a quite different experience. I feel very much like I’m fumbling in the dark, but your responses have been very encouraging and I think I’ve started off on the right foot.

After chewing out a few rough concepts (as well as doing an awful lot of scribbling on notepads), what I’d like to talk (write?) about in this installment is mechanics. Not beefy, sweaty people with large wrenches, but numbers and dice and systems, the engine room of the game. How big do I want that engine room to be? How complicated? Mechanics will affect the pace and feel of the game as much as, perhaps more than, any background or histories I write.

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Games News! 14/04/14

thighs, bounties, alien markets, you must make the tragedies happen

Quinns: We’ve got lots of exciting announcements to get through today, but our lead story has to be the announcement of Body Party. Say it with me now! BODY PARTY! Don’t those words drip with possibility and shame?

The design debut of none other than W. Eric Martin of the BoardGameGeek News blog (to which our own Games News owes quite the debt), Body Party challenges teams of players to hold more and more cards between various body parts.

Imagine it. It’s match point. The air is pungent with adrenaline and hormones. A card is revealed. To win, you’ll need to press it to your friend’s back using your… thigh? But your hand is already pressing another card to your friend’s chest! So you all shuffle into position, and you win the game for your team, kneeling above your friends like a sweaty colossus.

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Eurogamer review: Talisman Digital Edition

fisher price swords, skeptical exorcists, benign unicorns, instant death

Quinns: Morning, ladies and gents! Let’s start the week with a clatter of dice a scream of horror. I’ve reviewed the digital edition of Talisman: The Magical Quest Game for Eurogamer, though the article is mostly my thoughts on Talisman.

Stuff like this:

Talisman isn’t just random. It is riotously, hilariously unfair. I remember my friend crying with laughter because my pious Knight kept finding money. Nothing but bags and bags of money under every single rock, and never anything to spend it on. I was still waving around my crap Fisher Price sword while she was wielding a magic lance atop a benign unicorn. Finally, I arrived on a space where I could draw three adventure cards at once, and the first was a merchant caravan. Success!

The second card was a group of brigands who stole all of my money and dumped it on the other side of the board, for anyone to take. And as always in Talisman, you resolve nasty cards first.

…And so on. You’ll find the full article right here. I had a ton of fun writing it! This box is all magic and problems.

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Review(s): Machi Koro Vs. Splendor

carpet corner, criminal cafés, a man atop another man, the secrets of gems

So many games feature dice, but so few capture the thrill of gambling. Why is that?

The answer is, of course, to just buy Machi Koro and shout “WHO CARES!” right in your friend’s face while buying a fourth bakery. Though if you’re looking for a dazzling little economic card game for 2-4 players, we’ve also taken a look at Splendor… and a look back over our shoulder at Mundus Novus.

Wow! On reflection, we really do make your lives difficult, don’t we?

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Podcast #15: Fleeing the City

the mundane train, the fastest pirates, the russian's roulette, volcanoes

Oh my goodness it’s a PODCAST! Rarest of all the pods. Gather round and hear Quinns and Paul talk of the giggly Jamaica, the confusing Rivals for Catan, the tricksy Great Fire of London 1666, the long-awaited Race for the Galaxy: Alien Artifacts and lots more. But that’s not all! Paul’s back from GDC and … Read more

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Games News! 07/04/14

the x-men vs. shipping fulfillment, expanding winter, dice dimensions, card cocktails

Quinns: What a weekend! Tabletop Day, then a Netrunner tournament. I feel a sense of… union with the cardboardverse. Hang on, I’m having the strangest thoughts… Could it be? Is the games news coming to me?

I see a man… I see Ted Alspach, designer of the incredible Suburbia and One Night Werewolf. He’s announcing his new game! Castles of Mad King Ludwig will still have players laying tiles, but now sleepy suburbs are swapped for the colourful castles for real-life king Ludwig II.

I can also see that this very second, Ted is eating a burger with a knife and fork. Really, dude? C’mon. Cut that out.

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Review: Arctic Scavengers

quinns' netrunner tips, reference pears, reference refugees, snowballs

It’s the end of the world. Survivors huddle together, sheltering in rags and silence. There are bad men outside. And you’re one of them.

Arctic Scavengers is a card game for 2-5 players, and this week the updated edition first fell into our laps, then entered our hearts, like cardboard frostbite. Better yet, it’s Quinns’ favourite of all the games we’ve reviewed this year!

Oh dear. Wallets at the ready, people.

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U.S.A. Tabletop Day Update!

road house, celebrities, i hope they don't find out we're all terrible at games

Quinns: As I understand it, America has three main locations. New York City, Dallas and Jasper, Missouri, setting of Patrick Swayze’s 1989 classic Road House.

Those of you in New York should know that our own Mike will be at Myriad Games from 2:00-6:00 PM. He says he’s keen to teach Neuroshima Hex! to everybody, which is an experience I recommend! I don’t recommend you actually take him on, though, as I still have the bruises from that particular beatdown.

Anyone around Dallas should know that SU&SD besties Board With Life will be at Common Ground Games. And if you live in Jasper, Missouri? You should take a moment to reflect on how god-damn lucky you are, you son of a bitch.

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Tabletop Day is April 5th! Come meet Quinns!

no touching allowed, alright some touching, not too much though, or too little

Quinns: Of course, every day is International Tabletop Day here at SU&SD. But if you live in London and felt like dedicating a few hours hours to our giddy hobby, I’ll be spending all day at the inestimably awesome Leisure Games. Paul and Brendan might be making an appearance, too!

So come down! Meet us, play a game. make a hot new purchase and generally pay tribute to this city’s finest hobby shop. The above photo makes it look really small, but actually there are dark magicks present that let it sit upwards of 40 people. And for those of you looking for a beatdown, you’d better believe I’m bringing my Netrunner decks, if you wanted to bring yours along.

If you do live in the UK, Leisure Games are a fine online retailer too. Never be afraid to give them a call to ask when Such & Such is coming out, or if they can reserve you a copy of The New Hot Box.

And if you don’t live in the UK? Best of luck with everyone’s tabley endeavors!

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