Hexagonal Tile-Laying Game Fest, 2013

bananas, borrowing forever, judo, good ol' lakes, grumplehex, hextoast
Hexagonal Tile-Laying Game Fest

It’s that most wonderful time of the year! The holiday when families come together and induldge in colourful capitalism. That’s right, I’m talking about Economic Hex-Based Tile Laying Game Fest: 2013.

In this year’s hex fest we review the moreish Suburbia, the quaint Keyflower, remember the daring Archipelago, and in doing so unearth our Game of the Year.

Pour yourself a glass of hexnog, dear viewer. Tis’ the season!

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SU&SD’s Best Games For Your Family

steer a shark, freeze to death, certain dads, don't build snowmen with paul
Bang!

Paul: Like a snowman at the door, having a wank through your letterbox, Christmas is coming fast. Everyone and their dog is going to be asking for board games and hoping to unwrap something special but, but not everything that you ask for is going to be suited to families.

Does your brother want to play Twilight Imperium for eight hours? Does your dad understand how the Ambush card works in Memoir ‘44? Will your mum flip the table again if she loses another game of Space Hulk?

Here, then, are Shut Up & Sit Down’s recommendations for games your family can play at Christmas. These are all games with rules you can learn in just a few minutes, and won’t keep you returning to the manual. Some are simple, some are smart, some are physical and some are outright dangerous. But they’re all terribly, terribly good fun.

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Games News! 09/12/13

crunchy toast, coin spew, cuboid vikings, dirty bombs, nanogames
Coin Age

Quinns: Hello! Is it time for Games News? I feel so jetlagged that this is quite likely to be a terrible dream. Any second I’ll wake up still on the plane, one of my eyes gummed shut, the overweight man on my right having spilled an entire vodka miniature in my crotch.

Best to just enjoy this reality while it lasts, with its crunchy toast, hot coffee and board game news.

First up is the mighty Eurogamer, which has published a couple of articles about Chess 2 and Pandante, games that attempt to “fix” chess and poker, respectively.

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Review: Cutthroat Caverns

minotaurs, enemas, bad tea, quinns' netrunner tips
Review: Cutthroat Caverns

Would you like to come on an ADVENTURE? Get some treasure, some glory, back home in time for tea?

So you’ll come? …What’s that? Oh, nowhere special. Just the Cutthroat Caverns. No! Come back! It’s only a name!

What about you, dear reader? Will you join us? If you’re brave enough, you’ll see there’s an awful lot of fun to be had in those dingy, treacherous caverns. Assuming you’re just a bit of a jerk.

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Podcast #12: Quinns’ Holiday Crush

elijah wood, number six, twelfthlthl, are all board games awful?

Our very TWELFTH podcast has arrived! Twelfth doesn’t look like a proper word, does it? Twelfth. What are all those consonants doing? It sounds like a Lovecraft monster. So: Quinns is back from Board Game Geek con, and he’s fit to BURST with news of Nordic LARP, sinister physical games and a board game designer … Read more

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The Shut Up & Sit Down Community Guidelines

a serious post
The Shut Up & Sit Down Community Guidelines

Paul: Hi everyone.

We wanted to take a moment, between videos where we fall over and lewd reviews of bean-trading games, to set out some community guidelines.

We want this to be a safe, friendly, welcoming space for everyone. That means we’re queer-friendly. We won’t tolerate sexism, racism, bigotry, or any form of hate speech.

We’re so proud of our community. You’ve been fantastic, supportive, intelligent and contributed so much. Don’t see this as us saying we’re unhappy with you guys, only that Shut Up & Sit Down is growing faster than ever. It’s important to us that we set the tone and that everyone who comes here feels comfortable. You can help with that and, indeed, you already have. So much.

Quinns: Paul and I work in games media, but we’ve never seen a community as kind and respectful as you guys. Respect! On the internet! It’s a rare thing, and something we’ll be working to protect in our comments from here on.

If anything should bother you, please do email the contact address at the bottom of the site. That’ll reach us. Oh, and you’ll only need to stay shivering out in the comments for a bit longer. Your forum will be ready in the new year.

Thanks, everyone!

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Games News! 2/12/13

asers, neolithic negotiation, unsavoury products
HeroQuest anniversary Kickstarter

Paul: December arrives, and with it comes a large, old man dressed in red, banging on my door after midnight with one leather-gloved fist while another tightly clutches a ragged cloth sack that smells of old skin. The crazy hours I keep means I can’t begin to claim was anywhere near asleep, but as I hold open the door to let in the moonlight, the winter air and the sight of his craggy, crumpled face, I sourly ask him what he wants and what’s in the bag.

He strikes me across the bridge of the nose with the butt of a concealed weapon. “GAMES NEWS,” he bellows, his voice heavy with rum. I wake up tied to a chair in my living room. The man rants as he paces back and forth, my head throbbing in time with every syllable.

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Review: 1960: The Making of the President

Paul knows there aren't 52 states, A speedbump, or are there?, breakfast, (There aren't)
Review: 1960: The Making of the President

[We’re very sorry.

Unfortunately, this week, we’re not able to give you a new video. We were planning to post another Opener, one of Matt’s friendly introductions to both gaming and cooking, but circumstances have thrown us, as Matt explains:]

Matt: Hello there, Openerererers! I’m sad to say that this month’s unlikely blend of a board game review & cookery lesson has been slapped in the chops by recent events involving an awful internet misogynist. Everything is perfectly A-OK and fine, but sadly I haven’t had the time or the energy to make an Opener that I’m happy to share with you lovely sorts. The positive feedback I’ve had for the show so far has been lovely, and I’ll be back on track in no time at all. Sorry to have hit an irritating speedbump, and I’ll see you all inside my creepy cardboard box soon. In the meantime, here’s one of SU&SD’s least well-known reviews and, for good measure, a video of me attempting to make a full English breakfast calzone as part of a misguided bet.

[Our apologies for not being able to deliver. We tried to see if we could rush a replacement, but Paul is hosting a flat-full of guests all week and Quinns is away in the US. We hope that those of you who haven’t seen our sepia-toned, studio-style review of 1960: The Making of the President enjoy it. We’ll be back on schedule next week.]

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Review: Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

Oh no! A bunyip!, flaming ass, built-in bidets, it's not as scatological as these tags suggest
Review: Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

[Order, order. All rise for his honour Matt Drake, who returns to us once again with another review, this time of a game that’s gaining quite the reputation around these parts. Is such a reputation deserved? Well, Mr. Drake has a few things to say. Please, take your seats and remain quiet while the review is in progress.]

The Pathfinder Adventure Card Game came out a couple months ago, and the internet has been a-go-go with praise. I have read glowing reviews, had friends tell me it was simply amazing and heard people compare it to solid-gold toilets with built-in bidets. (I made up that toilet thing. I don’t actually know anyone who thinks a gold toilet would be a good idea.)

Well, allow me to retort.

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