Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 2/12/13

asers, neolithic negotiation, unsavoury products

Paul: December arrives, and with it comes a large, old man dressed in red, banging on my door after midnight with one leather-gloved fist while another tightly clutches a ragged cloth sack that smells of old skin. The crazy hours I keep means I can’t begin to claim was anywhere near asleep, but as I hold open the door to let in the moonlight, the winter air and the sight of his craggy, crumpled face, I sourly ask him what he wants and what’s in the bag.

He strikes me across the bridge of the nose with the butt of a concealed weapon. “GAMES NEWS,” he bellows, his voice heavy with rum. I wake up tied to a chair in my living room. The man rants as he paces back and forth, my head throbbing in time with every syllable.

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An apology, a look back at an old review, a breakfast calzone

Review: 1960: The Making of the President

[We’re very sorry. Unfortunately, this week, we’re not able to give you a new video. We were planning to post another Opener, one of Matt’s friendly introductions to both gaming and cooking, but circumstances have thrown us, as Matt explains:] Matt: Hello there, Openerererers! I’m sad to say that this month’s unlikely blend of a … Read more

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Review: 1960: The Making of the President

Paul knows there aren't 52 states, A speedbump, or are there?, breakfast, (There aren't)

[We’re very sorry.

Unfortunately, this week, we’re not able to give you a new video. We were planning to post another Opener, one of Matt’s friendly introductions to both gaming and cooking, but circumstances have thrown us, as Matt explains:]

Matt: Hello there, Openerererers! I’m sad to say that this month’s unlikely blend of a board game review & cookery lesson has been slapped in the chops by recent events involving an awful internet misogynist. Everything is perfectly A-OK and fine, but sadly I haven’t had the time or the energy to make an Opener that I’m happy to share with you lovely sorts. The positive feedback I’ve had for the show so far has been lovely, and I’ll be back on track in no time at all. Sorry to have hit an irritating speedbump, and I’ll see you all inside my creepy cardboard box soon. In the meantime, here’s one of SU&SD’s least well-known reviews and, for good measure, a video of me attempting to make a full English breakfast calzone as part of a misguided bet.

[Our apologies for not being able to deliver. We tried to see if we could rush a replacement, but Paul is hosting a flat-full of guests all week and Quinns is away in the US. We hope that those of you who haven’t seen our sepia-toned, studio-style review of 1960: The Making of the President enjoy it. We’ll be back on schedule next week.]

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Review: Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

Oh no! A bunyip!, flaming ass, built-in bidets, it's not as scatological as these tags suggest

[Order, order. All rise for his honour Matt Drake, who returns to us once again with another review, this time of a game that’s gaining quite the reputation around these parts. Is such a reputation deserved? Well, Mr. Drake has a few things to say. Please, take your seats and remain quiet while the review is in progress.]

The Pathfinder Adventure Card Game came out a couple months ago, and the internet has been a-go-go with praise. I have read glowing reviews, had friends tell me it was simply amazing and heard people compare it to solid-gold toilets with built-in bidets. (I made up that toilet thing. I don’t actually know anyone who thinks a gold toilet would be a good idea.)

Well, allow me to retort.

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The Top 3 Games From BoardGameGeek Con

broken teeth, quinns cold shot a man, naiads, dryads, furious cubes

Quinns: Good news, everybody! This month I was flown to America to talk at NYU’s unparallelled Practice conference, which meant it was only a cheap flight to Texas’s BoardGameGeek convention. I’d never been to a real-life American board game con, and it was full of surprises!

I picked up my badge and gun at the registration desk on the Thursday. As a first timer, I was only entitled to a Colt Single Action Army, but I wasn’t looking for trouble. I was looking for the best board games that were available to play here in the USA for the very first time. Stepping through the revolving doors, I tipped my hat at a table of strangers, and sat down for a game of Rampage.

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Games News! 25/11/13

Paul: Hacking my way through the games news jungle this month, I’ve parted the thick, oily leaves to reveal great swathes of forgotten expansions, many of them lost beneath the undergrowth. As birds of paradise call out, as creatures of the wild scream to one another from the treetops, I see that the sun is setting. Come, time is short. We’ll have to make camp here.

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Review: Freedom: The Underground Railroad

licking lampposts, i can be a good person, a lot's happened in history

It’s Friday once again! This week, Paul takes us on a historical tangent and, in a video a little more serious than some of our others, investigates Freedom: The Underground Railroad.

It’s a game about freeing slaves, about subverting and ultimately abolishing the slave trade, and it’s a co-operative challenge that you can also try solo. It’s also monstrously difficult. Too difficult?

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Review: Agents of SMERSH

illicit crushes, solid cores, beat the crafty beggar, beat the rusky spy

[Shut Up & Sit Down is immensely proud to present the following review of Agents of Smersh, a story game, by James Wallis, story game designer. James is the wonderful mind behind Once Upon a Time, and the actually-extraordinary Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen. He’s also a lovely man. Enjoy!]

James: Agents of Smersh is a cooperative board-game for 1–4 players although it can be played by five if you want, and there’s part of its problem right there. The other problem is that Agents of Smersh is one of those children, like Carol Thatcher or Chelsea Clinton, whose parent is so dominant that it can never get away from them to build its own identity no matter how hard it tries.

What is Agents of Smersh? Agents of Smersh is Tales of the Arabian Nights given a rework and a re-skin. And at this point you are either looking slightly quizzical—’Tales of the Arabian Nights, is it that… oh I remember, Paul and Quinns reviewed it here, they dressed up, it was funny, I think they liked it quite a bit’—or you have just wet yourself with excitement. To understand Agents of Smersh it is important that you understand Tales first, so either read on or skip the next six paragraphs while you change your pants.

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Games News! 18/11/13

news bellows, even more miniatures, legendary love letter

Paul: Hello and welcome again to another pumping, vibrant edition of Shut Up & Sit Down’s Games News. As the introductory sting fades away, let me swivel my chair to face camera two and sternly address you all with our lead story. Please duck to make way for the swooshing infographic, which gives thanks to both Meople’s Magazine and BoardGameGeek’s News Blog who, along with many publisher announcements, help to keep us informed.

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SU&SD Play… Space Cadets

where's my space bladder, space fangs, let's kick some space booties, Captain Shania

Once again, purely for your amusement, we suffer yet more pain and indignity in deep space. This time, Pip, Matt, Brendan, Quinns and Paul are all playing Space Cadets, a co-operative game of spaceship piloting where everything can and will go wrong. Repeatedly. Forever. It’s okay! Quinns has played it before and knows what he’s doing, though he’s not actually in charge.

Brendan may have too, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing. Set engines to gingerly.

You’ve called for more Let’s Plays, so this is an HOUR LONG video and we very much hope you enjoy watching it as much as we enjoyed making it. We want to give special thanks to Ben Prunty for kindly giving us permission to use some of his music for this video. You might also have heard his work in the famous video game FTL.

Space Cadets is one big game made up of many, many minigames, which means that, if it goes to hell, it’s one big disaster made up of many smaller ones. But that’s not going to happen, is it?

Is it?

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