Review: Seasons

where crystals come from, dribbling disasters, lewisham, necromancy, wizards
Review: Seasons

Apologies for all the murder that’s been going on this week. It’s very inconvenient. Can Seasons, a game of great wizardy, set things right, or is there only worse to come?

We’re also proud to present the return of Boardgaming with Brendan, and our long-awaited concept review of Dominant Species! Maybe not having Quinns around isn’t so bad after all.

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Thank you!

thanks, thank you, gratitude, appreciation
Thank you!

Donors, supporters and subscribers, we want to thank you all. This week, Shut Up & Sit Down reached its funding goal. It hasn’t taken us very long to get there and, quite frankly, we’re bowled over by your enthusiasm and your encouragement. Many of you haven’t just donated, you’ve subscribed, meaning your continued pledges will make an enormous difference to us and to the time that we can give to SUSD.

We’re already thinking about stretch goals and what else we can offer. Don’t forget that, if you’ve pledged to us, we’re keen to hear your feedback on where you want us to focus. In the meantime, we’ll keep on doing what we’re doing, under the watchful eye of our all-powerful boss, Reference Pear.

Thank you again, all of you. You’ve made us feel very special.

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Review: Sekigahara

Garden of Tranquility, fish fingers, Grasshopper, vengeful ghost
Review: Sekigahara

Paul: Matt, of all the things I might expect to find in the center of your house, a tranquil Japanese water garden wasn’t high on the list.

Thrower: An old, silent pond. A frog jumps into the pond. Splash! Silence again.

Paul: What? Where? I don’t see any frogs. I hate frogs. I had an experience once as a child where, in my shorts, I f-

Thrower: It’s a haiku, you great galumphing gajin. This is my garden of tranquility where I retreat occasionally, from the furious violence of my day-to-day life, to meditate. Some people find peace and focus in the ancient game of Go. But personally I find it intensely pointless and profoundly annoying. So instead I’m playing its nearest wargame equivalent, Sekigahara.

Paul: Oh, bless you. Here’s a handkerchief.

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Games News! 21/10/13

Woodlice, Have some linguini, Romulan Minicab, it's not a TARDIS
Warhammer: Diskwars

Paul: Ah yes, the games news chair. Easier to slip into than I first thought and… still warm? OH HELLO, I didn’t see you all there. Come in. Have some linguini.

Things are a little bit quieter on the games news front this week, no doubt because the industry as a whole is taking a deep breath and preparing to exhale all its most exciting announcements at Spiel 2013, that grandest of board gaming fairs, only four days hence. Still, I’ve spent my day grabbing every publisher in turn and shaking them until something exciting fell out. Here’s what I picked up off the floor. A respectful nod must also be given to both the exhaustive BGG News blog and also the fine Meople’s Magazine, both of whom we’ve turned to for help with our news.

So, let’s start with a very nice story indeed.

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The Halloween Special, 2013

quinns?, Mary Jane Kelly, Catherine Eddowes, Elizabeth Stride, Mary Ann Nichols
The Halloween Special

Halloween is close, now. Can you feel it? The sticky breath on the back of your neck? The bony hand on your thigh when all the lights are out? Getting higher… and higher…

Following on from Matt’s suggestion of Werewolf last week, Paul and Quinns are offering a couple more creepy gaming suggestions. Including one board game of a real life monster.

Happy Halloween, everybody. Stay safe.

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Review: DreadBall

surly neck-breakers, ridiculous fickles, proper sports, scrotums, scrotii?
Review: DreadBall

[Everybody, please give a warm welcome to Matt Drake of stellar review site Drake’s Flames. Matt’s going to be dropping by from time to time with reviews of giddier board games than we usually cover- think miniatures, dice and prolonged whooping.

In other words, it’s his job to make sure SU&SD doesn’t disappear up its own bottom. Take it away, Matt!]

In the future, sporting events will be part displays of athletic prowess and part gladiator death matches. You will be able to watch your favorite player dodge past the defense to score a magnificent shot on the goal, and then you can watch your OTHER favorite player grab that first guy by the scrotum and throw him like a frisbee. This sport of the future will be called DreadBall, and it will be awesome.

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Games News! 14/10/13

fluffy rice, baby vampires, lost tourists, breathtaking bias, rejection
Spirits of the Rice Paddy

Quinns: Morning, everbody! Are you well? You will be after reading this week’s instalment of the news, featuring no less than SIX games, every one of which sets my table-gaming soul quivering like a jelly. As always, our news is hand-stolen mostly from the excellent BGG News blog, as well as Meople’s Magazine. A fine internet periodical.

Let’s kick off with the story that Quantum (above) will be arriving in shops very, very soon. What we have here is an elegant-sounding sci-fi game where every die is one player’s ship, and the number of pips it shows is its speed, power and building ability. Very slick! And Fun Forge have draped the thing in lip-smacking artwork.

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Kotaku Article: Top 5 Friendships-Ruiners

beetle roleplay, vengeful ghosts, grumpy pirates, well-used airlocks
Kotaku Article: Top 5 Friendships-Ruiners

Quinns: This month I gave Kotaku a powerful gift. The top 5 board games to play if you want to leave your friendships as cold and laced with poison as old scorpion shells. It starts like this…

“One piece of trivia orbits modern board gaming like a dark, sexy star. Someone who doesn’t really play them will always have heard from their friend, who heard it from another friend, that something like Game of Thrones or Battlestar Galactica is mean it ruins friendships.

“But Game of Thrones? Battlestar Galactica? These are games where the backstabbing and twists of the knife are expected. If you really want to test your friendships, these are the games you should be playing.”

…and rapidly moves on to the five games I think should be handled with care. I’d recommend you all go and peruse my warnings, before it’s too late.

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The Opener: Ultimate Werewolf & Chilli Con Carne

repulsive yet capable liars, chilli, spooky times, wheely chairs
The Opener: Ultimate Werewolf & Chilli Con Carne

With Halloween just around the corner (or, as we call it here in England, “All Hallow’s Ween”), we’re very proud to present part 1 of our spooktacular gaming suggestions! Neatly reviewed in time for you to place and receive your order in time for the sexiest night of the year. Or was that Pancake Tuesday?

Anyway, to begin with, what could be simpler, safer or spookier than an evening of Ultimate Werewolf? Just you, a big pot of chilli, and between 4 and 60 of your closest friends.

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Pip Escapes A Room

traps, adrenaline, suspicion, death, toilets
Pip Escapes A Room

[Is everyone aware of the swelling “escape the room” genre of videogames? When we heard about a London-based installation offering the opportunity to escape a real-life room, we were intrigued. So much so we activated Pip, freshly-internet famous from our Let’s Plays of The Resistance, Memoir ’44 and Twilight Imperium, to go and see if it was any good.]

“What if someone needed the toilet?”

My friend Simon has been on the receiving end of a “what I would have done differently” monologue for the last few minutes and has decided to leap in with a question. The monologue revolves around HintHunt — a real-life room escape game in the vein of Crimson Room.

Except is it a room escape game, Simon? IS IT A ROOM ESCAPE GAME?

HintHunt gives you exactly one hour to get out of the locked room in which you find yourself. The solution can only be found by discovering clues scattered hither and yon and using them to solve a chain of puzzles. You could also just break the door down and leave but they ask you not to do that before you start. There is backstory for the scenario but it’s just there to offer an excuse for you clambering around a room shouting words and numbers at each other and glaring suspiciously at all surfaces within reach.

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