Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Tease

oard games, posin' with the biscuits, sleeve organs, napoleon: the sexy dictator

[Introducing friend of SU&SD and games journalist Leigh Alexander.]

Quinns: So here’s what happened.

Leigh: OK.

Quinns: A while back some SU&SD readers joked that we should review Tease: The Liberating Game for Couples and Groups. I got in touch with the PR

Leigh: Oh, I’ll bet you did.

Quinns: I GOT IN TOUCH WITH THE PR, who said she wasn’t sure they
should send a game to a site that would probably just make fun of it. Which was a fair cop. I just wanted to do a video where four men play Tease and are forced to give one another massages.

Except then they sent me the game anyway! And… it’s… pretty good!

3 Comments

Our Belated Top 5 Games Of 2012

board games, armpit tactics, forbidden piglets, cyber-bluffs

Paul: How’s your tux?

Quinns: A little tight. How’s yours?

Paul: I went with the dress. It was cheaper. HELLO, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and antiboys. It’s time for our top 5 games of 2012, which will almost certainly be as well-organised and halcyon as our top 10 Upcoming Games of 2012 feature, which ended up being 14 games, none of which we agreed on.

Quinns: Step this way, banishing all preconceptions from your mind, AND ALSO any thoughts that this feature is three months later. And let’s kick things off with…

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The Fourth Ever SU&SD Podcast

board games, podcast, f**king lancelot deck, f**king squeezes, f**king monkeys

Quinns: The technology behind podcasts is beyond us, as stars are beyond the humble antelope. I’ll tell you what, though! Paul and I can totally put a mic on a table and shout at it for 60 minutes. Poor mic. Hit play! That is, if you’d like to hear us talk about The Resistance: Avalon, … Read more

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Your Guide to Space Cadets

board games, teabags, i'm driving, oh god i don't want to drive anymore

Quinns: You know when you buy a game, and you know it’s going to be good… and it is?

Space Cadets is a game where 3-6 players fly a Star Trek-like space ship together in real time. That makes it a lot like SU&SD favourite Space Alert, but where that game compresses your flight (and the game’s jewel-like puzzle) into a brown-trousered 10 minutes, Space Cadets’ flight fills a whole evening.

It also has everyone manning different stations. We’ll be doing a full
review when we’re a more competent crew, but for now, let me just walk you through each station. I can’t think of a better way to persuade you why you need this box in your life.

Review: King of Tokyo

March 5, 2013 Reviews King of Tokyo The newest recruit to team Shut Up & Sit Down takes a look at King of Tokyo. A game of throwing handfuls of heavy dice at your friends, as hard as you can. I might have got that wrong. Is that wrong, Matt?

Review: Robinson Crusoe – Adventure on the Cursed Island

no-oo, board games, review, Poor Barry

You know when you buy a game, and you know it’s going to be good?

“This will be a great time,” you announce to your cactus or spouse. “I have been convinced by this game’s art and premise that I will enjoy myself.”

Your coat’s still on. You pick up the phone. “Barry?” You say. “It’s me. Would you like to come over and have a great time?”

I was convinced Robinson Crusoe was the game for me. Guess what!

22 Comments

Review: Fortress America

board games, review, Sgt. Pork Starve, Plastic Souls, laser laser laser

Quinns: Think to get flickering lasers and evil Empires you’d have to play the X-Wing Miniatures Game? Think again, mister! Or miss. Sorry miss.

Paul: No, it’s me, I am a mist-

Quinns: Say hello to Fortress: America (and imagine it responding to your greeting with an excitable 21 gun salute).The ENTIRE WORLD (made up of three players) is invading near-future America (controlled by one player). I’m talking bombers over Boston. Hovertanks in Houston. APCs in… in, uh…

Paul: In Annapolis! This may well be the ultimate in what we call Ameritrash, big flashy board games with lots of components.

9 Comments

Impressions: Neuroshima Hex!

board games, review, kissing spiders, go away stupid ipad, laser laser

Quinns: I’m meeting a lot of board gamers here in New York. It’s like Christmas, and I’m Santa, except they gift me with a game and only rarely sit on my lap and you know what this analogy doesn’t work at all

Today I was walked through WONDERFUL post-apocalyptic tactics game Neuroshima Hex!, released in 2006 and since expanded by a untidy bag of army packs. My friend took out this game, taught it to me, and promptly put it away again.

“We’ll play on the iPad,” he said. “It’s better on the iPad.”

My face promptly crumpled up like a plastic bag in a strong breeze. Worst part of it is, he was right.

7 Comments

Review: Innovation

board games, review, soviet suppositories, mystic beans

Quinns: The first edition of Innovation, a card game ranked in Board Game Geek’s top 150 games of ALL TIME, looks – as you can see – supernaturally boring.

The tiny box looks like it should contain soviet suppositories, and inside it you’ll find 110 cards in the same hospitalised colour (Lung? Nicotine?). The deathly manual informs you that every one of these cards is an “innovation”, from archery to automobiles, and 2-4 players will use them to race from one end of history to the other.

Let’s say you agree to play Innovation, even though it’s clearly not your thing. That experience can be compared to going to drink a tall glass of dirty water, and discovering it’s neat whisky.

7 Comments

Review: Shadows over Camelot

board games, review, poultry bones, lancelot goo

Quinns: Oh god. OK.

Because board games age so goddamn well, running a board game site can be a bit like running a daycare centre. Those guys can’t rest because it might mean a kid getting stuck behind a radiator or someone eating a rock. We can’t rest because even if we stay on top of new games, we’re writing under the weight of every awesome game we’ve never played.

Shadows over Camelot is one such older game we need to tell you about. One of HUNDREDS. It never ends, but all the same we’re going to talk about it with the good humour of men throwing a shiny penny into a wishing well.

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