Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Black Gold

review, Black Gold, spurt, milkshake

Quinns: We know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “SU&SD, what I really want is a board game about being an oil prospector, except with all the tension and exclusively brutal interaction of a wrestling match.” Well today’s your lucky day!We’re reviewing Black Gold, a game of racing across Texas in a pick-up truck, trying to build wells before your opponents, as well as fierce, arena-like auctions where everyone bids for the right to sell their oil. There Will Be Blood? Yes. Yes, there will.

Paul: You know what? This is the sort of game I wish Monopoly was. A capitalist, pugilist slugging-it-out where the only thing that matters is money and how much of it you can wrench out of the hands of others. And it doesn’t have disgusting paper notes in, either, so that’s another pro. I’m not really sure there will be blood, but there will be a lot of oil and an awful lot of very cruel business practices…

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Season 01 – Episode 5

October 8, 2011 Reviews, Specials Race for the Galaxy, Space Alert, Catan, Twilight Imperium 3rd Edition The Science Fiction Special sees the boys reviewing enormous games, exciting games and extraterrestrial games! Is this really wise, and quite where will this gaming journey take our hosts?

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Review: Fury of Dracula

review, Fury of Dracula, Quinns' box nightmare, hunting the elderly

Quinns: Did you ever play hide and seek as a kid? Do you remember the hysterical thrill of wedging yourself under the bed, trying to control the unbelievable noise of your own lungs? Or being the hunter, creeping through a familiar environment with carbonated anticipation tingling along your veins? Because I’m inclined to call board game Fury of Dracula hide and seek for adults. This is a beautiful, beautiful game, and it deserves a place in houses the world over.

Paul: I didn’t have anywhere exciting to hide as a child or very many people to play with anyway. But we did play a game called Nine Nine In on our school field, which involved-

Quinns: FURY OF DRACULA sees four players each controlling a vampire hunter chasing Dracula across Europe. It’s a glossy update of a classic called Scotland Yard, which was a board game about catching a runaway criminal in London, but here a fifth player gets to control the immortal Count Dracula rather than some greasy burglar, so it’s already the better game.

11 Comments

Review: Zombies!!!

review, Zombies, Brains, excessive use of exclamation marks

We’ve reviewed a lot of smart games lately, a lot of intricate and very
cleverly designed ones. Let me tell you, we have some even smarter and
even bigger ones coming too, with all sorts of clever twists, but
sometimes size isn’t everything. Sometimes smarts aren’t everything,
either. It’s not always about brains, you know.

Unless, of course, you’re playing Zombies, in which case it really is
about brains. Brains and bullets and using the bullets to keep your
brains where God intended. Sure, you can try and tell those wandering
cadavers that brains are overrated, that they should consider a
vegetarian option, but it’s really very difficult to engage them in any
kind of extended dialogue. Because they’re dead.

2 Comments

Season 1 – Episode 4

September 8, 2011 Reviews, Specials Carcassonne, Dominion, 7 Wonders, Nightfall, Catan, Descent: Journeys in the Dark In this episode, a failed attempt at Car-cassonne leads us to look exclusively at card games, including the new Nightfall, and the established classics 7 Wonders and Dominion. We also interview a world-famous games developer and enjoy a night … Read more

Review: Condottiere

treachery, condottiere, card games, spreading the love, review

It says right there on the Shut Up & Sit Down About page that we love games that’ll let us do a bit of scowling. Well, packed within Condottiere’s tiny box* are more scowls than in a whole month of Mondays. Feel like buying yourself a cheeky little game this week? This is the one. This game? It’s a gem.

8 Comments

Our guide to: Rules Explanations

board games, spreading the love, card games, regulations, guide

Quinns: The other day I was perched on a windowsill and talking to myself. Nothing strange there, then, but what’s (comparably) interesting is what I was saying to myself. I was explaining the rules of a card game, as if to a group of first-time players. I had people coming over that evening and I wanted to make sure I could explain the rules as smoothly and quickly as possible.

Is this something you’ve ever done? Does it sound crazy to you, rehearsing a rules explanation? Well, look here. You wouldn’t invite over a group of friends only to have them find you sprawled on the sofa in your dressing gown, a hint of your genitals barely visible like some cowardly and as-yet uncatalogued subterranean mammal, would you? No. You respect these people too much to let them see you in such an embarrassing state of unpreparedness. So you should also respect them enough to be able to present those rules like a pro.

6 Comments

Review: Stone Age

board games, review, Stone Age, Frottage

Quinns: We’re positive guys here at SU&SD. If you were to ask us what animal we resemble, it would be a seagull, except a strange, mutant seagull that must tell people about wonderful games. “GAMS,” it would screech as it divebombed children and the elderly alike, its reedy vocal chords inadequate for the task of human pronunciation. “GAMS! GAMS!”

Talking about a game that we don’t like is simply a less useful service than bellowing about one we love. That said, we can, and will, be making exceptions from time to time.

Paul: Wait, wait. What? That we don’t like? I wasn’t told about this.

10 Comments

Season 1 – Episode 3

August 15, 2011 Reviews, Specials The Resistance, Power Grid, Summoner Wars, Catan Episode 3, Civil Surface, sees everything turn serious. Has the government really banned board games? Quite what is going on amongst the SU&SD team? And how many audio glitches and microphone problems can you possibly have in one episode? Really, we’re sorry there … Read more

Floating Round My Tin Can

war, space, board games, space crusade, warhammer, space oddity

For me, writing and filming SU&SD is an exercise that frequently swings between excitement and painful nostalgia, a bit like a pendulum that strikes you in the balls on every arc. Or like one of those Newton’s Cradles that strikes you in the balls on every arc. Or like pretty much anything that strikes you in the balls regularly.

The problem I have is that every other game I want to talk about is a
game I don’t have. More than a few of them are games that I did have, but don’t have any more. It’s a sad state of affairs that all I have left of HeroQuest is the board, the dice and so many fading memories.

Well, I have even less left of Space Crusade, Games Workshop’s science fiction counterpart to HeroQuest, released a year later. I barely remember the components, or even how to play the game. Today, looking through old photos, I’ve been trying to remember and trying to avoid that metaphorical whack in the sack.

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