GAMES NEWS! 16/12/19

Ava: Twas the news before Christmas, and all through the office,
Not a creature was newsworthy, not even the…..boffice????

I should’ve thought more carefully before I started that. But it’s the end of the year, the UK election last week was horrible, and I’m pretty sure British culture is entirely built up on the principle of phoning it in on the last day at work (and failing to own up to the horrors of our colonial past).

Quinns: Ava, don’t talk about phoning it in at work while I’m here! I didn’t get you a Christmas present, but if I *had* I would now pitch it out of my window, in anger.

Ava: Let’s get this news down this chimney, and hope someone’s left us a mince pie and a carrot.

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GAMES NEWS! 09/12/19

Dweller of the Game, good job seattle, Nice egg!

Ava: The rest of the team is in something called ‘Philadelphia’, so they left me to sweep up the last crumbs of pre-Christmas news. Only it’s not crumbs at all, there’s big news, weird news, premature news, barely news, local news and even some bad news. Pull up a chair and settle yourself down, let’s tuck into a big old roast news, stuffed with newslings and with all the greasiest news-trimmings.

Oh my word would you look at that. The biggest game in games is getting a frosty full-fat follow-up. Gloomhaven is heading north and getting a lot colder (which I can relate to, as I moved to Yorkshire three years ago).

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GAMES NEWS! 02/12/19

aggro brickies, reminder: avoid arrest, everyone is on fire again

Ava: Happy December, my beautiful news-children. It’s the season of barging around shops, loads of social obligations, wrapping up work and presents, slow news days, and it being really, really hard to stay sober. This week we’re focussing on what I optimistically like to call ‘presents for your future self’, but might more accurately be called ‘gambling on games that have limited incentive to actually be good because they’ve already sold out their stock before they started production’.

Sorry about the cynicism, honestly. I have a finite amount of Christmas Cheer, so I have to be really grumpy for most of December in order to still have some in reserve for the actual festive period. It won’t last all month, I secretly love Christmas.

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Tactics & Tactility #5 – The Clairvoyance of Failure

Doomed Drinks, Magical Maths, Abstract Fingers

[Tactics and Tactility is our column about the feelings, details and pleasures of tabletop gaming. This week Ava is looking at Quacks of Quedlinberg and the perils of prediction.]

Ava: I’m a potion maker, I’ve got a bag of secret ingredients. There’s magic spilling everywhere. In this moment, I know the exact odds of failure, and I make the fatal mistake. I say it out loud.

‘There’s only one thing that can kill me, and there’s loads in here. Knowing my luck, I’m doomed.’

I pull out that one ingredient, my cauldron explodes, and so does the table. A wave of sympathy and laughter. Of course I did the thing. A one in six chance was the only possible outcome.

Quacks of Quedlinberg is a simple push your luck game wrapped in the right trappings to take it off the table and into your hearts. It’s built out of simple probabilities, a little calculation, and the illusion of control. You pull tiny cardboard chits out of the soft, black bag you’ve built for yourself. You always know exactly how many of the dreaded berries inside can ruin everything.

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Review: Don’t Get Got

poster child for a smarty-pants, bad buttonin', the box wants to be cut up

Who wants to feel nervous and paranoid? Yes, more nervous and paranoid than normal.

Don’t Get Got is a party game that runs in the background of your normal life, able to turn a party or ordinary day at work into a nightmarish playground of the mind. It’s cheap, sweet, utterly unique, and gets people dancing for joy more frequently than we’ve seen in eight years as board game reviewers.

Don’t understand? You will! Just click play on the video.

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GAMES NEWS! 25/11/19

penny-fight, cetacean versus paintin', an ol' race-faff

Ava: QUINNS QUINNS I’M ON A TRAIN!

Quinns: You’re writing the news from a train? I–

Ava: CHOO CHOO!

Quinns: I’m so glad you’re–

Ava: NEWS NEWS!

Quinns: Ok, I’m now looking forward to the wi-fi dropping you in about eight seconds.

Ava: CHOO CH-

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10 Oink Games Reviewed In 10* Minutes

minerables, most boys, Honey I shrunk the games, this is just juice

Bending the very essence of TIME to our wills, this week we’re proud to announce that we’ve managed to compress 21 minutes and 11 seconds into ten minutes of human time. How did we do it? We’ll never tell.

10 Oink games, reviewed in just 10 minutes. Have we missed one of your favourites? Do let us know – there are plenty more Oink games in the sea, and we’ll soon be perfectly positioned to try them after the internet drowns us for the things we’ve said about Deep Sea Adventure.

1:11 Nine Tiles Panic (2019)
2:51 Moneybags (2018)
4:25 A Fake Artist Goes to New York (2012)
6:18 TomaTomato (2018)
8:03 Insider (2016)
10:24 Startups (2017)
12:26 Troika (2017)
13:32 Zogen (2018)
14:33 Deep Sea Adventure (2014)
17:10 Flotsam Fight (2018)

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