Review: Millennium Blades

sweat washes off, john lemon, millennium dollars

Thrower: The table is a wreck of cards, tokens and wads of cash. One player has collapsed on the sofa, eyes closed, exhausted. Another feverishly sorts their deck, cards held close to face, unable to understand what went wrong. Someone else has walked out, professing a desire for space and calm.

I’m wondering where the last two hours went and how I didn’t notice we now have an audience of a new visitor and a cat. I realise, suddenly, that on this cool spring evening I’m bathed in sweat. This is the aftermath of Millennium Blades.

We’ve spent the time pretending to be players of a fictional collectible card game in an anime universe. Millennium Blades is, then, a game about playing games. This sounds like a recipe for a design that disappears up its own backside. Instead, this game is interesting, intense and ingenious. Stuffed with self-referential satire, it sits, winking at its players from the comfort of its oversize box. If you can unpick all the parodies from a card called “I’ll Form the Head” from the “Obari as Hell” card set, you’re a higher voltage gamer than me.

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Games News! 05/06/2017

bumble cavalry, the splendid earth, ogling the trails, Mr. Quilliams

Paul: Quinns. QUINNS.

Quinns: PAUL WHAT IS IT.

Paul: I HAD A NIGHTMARE.

Quinns: WHAT HAPPENED.

Paul: I dreamt that you agreed to get the new Zombicide Kickstarter and play it even though it’s $120. And you certainly wouldn’t be alone in doing so! At the time of writing this Kickstarter has raised almost $2 million from more than 16,000 backers.

Quinns: Well, like Zombicide: Green Horde’s setting, your dream remains very much in the realm of fantasy. But for once, this site has a very good reason for throwing shade on Zombicide.

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Podcast #59: The Ghost of BoardGameGeek’s Top 100

crashing india into the ground, bustin' makes me feel tired, hey buddy, buddy

In this shellshocked edition of the SU&SD podcast, Matt, Paul and Quinns crawl out from their writing-trenches to discuss the mammoth feature we published this week: SU&SD Take On The BoardGameGeek Top 100. As a postscript, they discuss the dozens of phenomenal games that are cruelly, criminally absent from BGG’s fabled list. Are you disinterested in crimes against arbitrary inventories? Not to worry. Matt also chats about his tiny dice in Star Wars: Dice-Tiny, Paul discusses the impractical politics of Imperial 2030, Quinns has finally rolled around in Roll for the Galaxy and, for some reason, there’s also there’s a discussion of Ghostbusters: The Board Game II and whether ghosts can move through other ghosts. Ugh.

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RPG Review: Trail of Cthulhu

a cardboard graveyard, nipping terrors, scary geometry, a fulfilling ravaging

Cynthia: It is a little known fact I accompanied Paul Dean during his fearless investigations into the horrific Mythos Tales affair earlier this spring. I witnessed some of those same horrors, unearthed dark revelations couched in official documents, grappled with non-euclidean maps, and ventured alongside him into spaces where our accustomed rules of time and space seemed to break down.

None of that prepared me for the bizarre investigations that I commenced upon my return to Minneapolis –– investigations that continue as I write. Therefore, while I still retain enough of my mind to write, I find it imperative to tell you all this:

There is no Lovecraftian mystery game as engrosssing, as well-crafted, or as much sheer fun as Pelgrane’s roleplaying game, Trail of Cthulhu.

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Games News! 29/05/2017

stuck in a vent, killing a crow, eating a glass, swordfighting a cat

Paul: At last, summer is coming, at least to the Northern Hemisphere, and with it the promise of board games outside in the sunshine, games that you spill your juice on, games covered in ants. BUT WHICH board games are we most looking forward to covering in ants in the near future?

Quinns: Well Paul, do you remember when we said that Funemployed was the best game ever and our audience refused to buy it because they were terrified, en masse, by the prospect of having to be funny?

Paul: Oh yes.

Quinns: Do you want to try and sell a funny experience ONE MORE TIME?

Paul: DOUBLE OR QUITS, BABY.

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SU&SD Take on The Board Game Geek Top 100: 10-1

Rose flavours, scandalous mermaids, bee kerplunk, pip’s pandemic
How to Play Pandemic Legacy!

Paul: Gawd, I love BGG. It’s one of my favourite gaming places on the internet and this has been a fascinating journey.

Quinns: It’s an astonishingly rigorous database. As if IMDB was combined with a… an educated mosh pit, but with a set of scales in the corner that told you how much every actor weighed.

As we close out this feature, I’m simply left wanting to play more board games. Which is surely the best possible result.

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SU&SD Take on The Board Game Geek Top 100: 20-11

Blast Doors, The Management Cupboard, Night Magick, A Watching Swan
Imperial Assault: Joining the Dark Sidekick

Quinns: Matt, we have to abort this feature! Reddit’s disapproval is reaching critical levels.

Matt: That’s not the Reddit alarm, that’s my egg timer. I’m making everybody lunchtime eggs to keep up our strength.

Quinns: Wow! I could kiss you.

Matt: Don’t kiss on me, daddy-oats, kiss on these great games.

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