GAMES NEWS! 12/09/16

endangered orphans, tasty mints, the ol' groove sweats, having your period

Quinns: Paul, it’s time for a dance as old as time. Put on this lycra onesie and take my hand.

Paul: But… there’s no music?

Quinns: Ah, but there is! The news dance is performed to the rhythm of the world’s news, to the crashing rhythm of current events and the harmony of headlines.

Paul: I do sometimes wonder if these contrived scenarios in which we read the news do anything for the site. But…

Quinns: But?

Paul: But not today! Olé!

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The Dean Dexterity Double Reviews: Junk Art and Pingo Pingo

Pinata land mine, lurching and leaping, organics

This week, Paul springs into action and plays against type as he looks at not one, but two games of the more physical variety. First up, he takes on the chunky and junky Junk Art, before going on to wrestle with (and shoot at) the penguins of Pingo Pingo. It’s all guns and blocks and dashing and crashing. Good heavens, I’m getting a headache.

Why this strange change of interest? What’s with Paul’s new, more active lifestyle? And what is the meaning of Quinns’ unusual delivery? That’s a lot of questions for a Friday. Let’s all go and have a lie down.

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RPG Review: The World Wide Wrestling RPG

adequate crabs, building heat, the wrestler whisperer

[Everybody, please welcome back freelance writer Jon Bolding, who tackled the highly-recommended game of Orleans for us. This time, he’s covering one of his favourite RPGs.]

Review Soundtrack: Beat the Champ by The Mountain Goats

Bolds: A siren call of my youth. The gravel-voiced radio or television announcer chanting “Sunday!” and pointing you at an arena of legends. A contest of champions. A wholly made-up, entirely absurd, totally fixed contest of champions. If you did not grow up with it, if you’re just a roleplaying game enthusiast, well, I have an experience for you.

In an entirely approachable, well-laid-out 160-page volume, World Wide Wrestling gives you a set of rules that drive you into a world of entertainment and drama, screaming and spandex, costumes and camel clutches, masks and monsters. In the game, players are archetypal wrestlers – working people who play a role in a show, but also have to live their own lives. It adapts well to either small-scale independent wrestling or the big, media-frenzy contemporary wrestling that gave birth to people like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Hell, allow me some contradiction: I think it’s so precisely designed that it reaches beyond the world of wrestling.

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Review: Seafall

swab yourself, stormy stories, that's so pbrbrbpt, sea wasps

Joy of joys! The latest SU&SD review has arrived at port, having completed its grand tour of Seafall. Ah, see how it’s sitting low in the water? It must be carrying a tremendous cargo of opinions and insight. That, or it’s leaking.

If you haven’t heard the hype around this game, all you need to know is that it’s designer Rob Daviau’s third legacy game following on from the amazing Risk Legacy and Pandemic Legacy. But while those two games were fairly straightforward, Seafall is an ambitious epic. In other words, it’s the most exciting box we’re expecting to review all year. So what are you waiting for? Click play! Watch. And be amazed.

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Review: Crossing

The world is your mushroom, throbbing and unprecedented desire

Paul: Ah, you’re here, dear reader. Excellent. Come closer, come closer, and let me tell you the torrid tale of mushroom corruption that is Crossing. It’s a tale of riches and of theft, of cunning and of deception. It’s a tale of gems and fungi, like none you’ve ever heard before.

Are you sitting comfortably? Are you ready for the story of the tiny little game that was full of wonder? Then I’ll begin.

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GAMES NEWS! 29/08/16

pretend princesses, starship trooplings, tiny sex toys, meeples of the amazon

Quinns: Games News is EXPLODING into action today with news so exciting that the entire team is under doctor’s orders to lie down for a week. Why? WHY? There’s only the success of the Dear Leader Kickstarter. That’s all! And they’re still accepting late pledges!

Paul: Yes! Terrific! What good news! This isn’t propaganda at all and we’re very excited to see this game do so extraordinarily well! Oh God-

Quinns: KEEP SMILING.

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Review: Inis

tittering tricksters, twirling triskels, and you, (and maybe your friends)

Gather close to the fire pit, everybody. Paul and Quinns want to tell you about the last of our favourite games from Gen Con 2016. This one’s called Inis, it’s the third game in the series that brought us Cyclades and Kemet and, frankly, it’s a little bit perfect. Not only is Inis the best game of plastic soldiers running around a map that we’ve played all year, it manages that with a 5 minute rules explanation and – look ma! – no dice.

The only problem is that Inis isn’t out yet. English-language distributors don’t always get a lot of Matagot’s stock in, either, so pre-order at your local retailer to avoid disappointment. And have a fantastic weekend!

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Podcast #46: One Miniature Vlaada

eric's miniature family, audience jerks, soda jerks, too many ghouls, too many dreams

Oh dear! After a metaphorical explosion of our recording equipment at Gen Con ’16, this is all we could salvage from our two live shows. Please don your protective masks and take turns passing the blasted husk around. The first 30 minutes of this ash-smelling podcast feature Paul, Quinns and our miniatures columnist Eric Tonjes discussing some highlights from the show, including the Runewars Miniatures Game, Pandemic: Reign of CthuluArkham Horror: The Card Game, Conan and the real-time tile laying game of 4 Gods. Exciting, right? Not as exciting as the second half, friends! Paul and Quinns were able to snag an interview with a little designer by the name of Vlaada Chvátil. But this doesn’t have to be a disaster-cast. Did you go to Gen Con, or have some otherwise transcendant board gaming in the last few weeks? Why not leave us a comment telling us all about it!

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A wedding! And some birds

birbs birbs birbs, Paul Dean: Beastmaster, Marriage Pilot Program

Quinns: Right! Some of you might have heard that I got married this weekend. It was a blissful day and went entirely as planned, except for my Mum providing inexplicable amounts of cream at the picnic which I suspect will be a running joke among my friends for the next four or five decades.

But something I had no idea was happening was a surprise stag party organised by my best man, Paul Dean. Because I love birds, he took us to do falconry, and Matt Lees brought his fancy lenses along.

So while I was totally unable to upload last Friday’s podcast, please enjoy this replacement gallery of myself, Matt and Paul meeting a load of beautiful birds.

Lots of love, everybody. SU&SD will be getting back up to speed this Wednesday.

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Review: Go Cuckoo

spherical babies, puckering cloaca, straining oviduct

Paul: I am glad that I will never lay an egg.

I will, thank the heavens, never have to strain to squeeze one along the length of my oviduct, before groaning as I expel it from my cloaca. I will never birth a child in a form in which they might accidentally roll away. Nature has determined that such things need not concern this human male.

I am, nevertheless, a nest-builder. This I cannot deny. I’ve just moved home and the process of unpacking, arranging furniture and buying a rug is, I reckon, basically identical to building a nest. I make a snug, safe space for myself, into which I can cram everyone and everything that I want to take care of. Then I sit atop it all, making sure nothing can escape.

This is why I’m so good at Go Cuckoo.

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