Conflict-Free Games 9 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

[Order, order. All rise for his honour Matt Drake, who returns to us once again with another review, this time of a game that’s gaining quite the reputation around these parts. Is such a reputation deserved? Well, Mr. Drake has a few things to say. Please, take your seats and remain quiet while the review is in progress.]

The Pathfinder Adventure Card Game came out a couple months ago, and the internet has been a-go-go with praise. I have read glowing reviews, had friends tell me it was simply amazing and heard people compare it to solid-gold toilets with built-in bidets. (I made up that toilet thing. I don’t actually know anyone who thinks a gold toilet would be a good idea.)

Well, allow me to retort.

[Shut Up & Sit Down is immensely proud to present the following review of Agents of Smersh, a story game, by James Wallis, story game designer. James is the wonderful mind behind Once Upon a Time, and the actually-extraordinary Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen. He’s also a lovely man. Enjoy!]

James: Agents of Smersh is a cooperative board-game for 1–4 players although it can be played by five if you want, and there’s part of its problem right there. The other problem is that Agents of Smersh is one of those children, like Carol Thatcher or Chelsea Clinton, whose parent is so dominant that it can never get away from them to build its own identity no matter how hard it tries.

What is Agents of Smersh? Agents of Smersh is Tales of the Arabian Nights given a rework and a re-skin. And at this point you are either looking slightly quizzical—’Tales of the Arabian Nights, is it that… oh I remember, Paul and Quinns reviewed it here, they dressed up, it was funny, I think they liked it quite a bit’—or you have just wet yourself with excitement. To understand Agents of Smersh it is important that you understand Tales first, so either read on or skip the next six paragraphs while you change your pants.

This week Quinns looks at The Cave! A game about caves and the people who love them and sometimes get stuck in them. Which might sound rubbish, but did you ever consider that caves are basically nature’s dungeons?

We’re also very proud to present the segment that you lot have been begging for: Quinns’ Netrunner Tips!

Oh, and if anyone’s curious, the K2 review we talk about in the video lives right here. Enjoy, everybody!

Have you heard of Escape: The Curse of the Temple? Rumoured to be greatest family game of all time, they say it can be found in the Temple to the God of Luck, in the world’s most unfun jungle. Wait. No, hang on, that’s wrong. It’s in Quinns’ flat.

In this review, we answer the question of whether you should buy Escape, we take a look at the Illusions expansion, AND we compare the whole thing to Space Alert. Now, only one question remains: How did Quinns get so dirty?

Reviewers? ASSEMBLE!

It’s time to do battle with the increasingly popular Sentinels of the Multiverse! A co-operative, customisable, and increasingly collectible game of excitingly litigious superheroes fighting stinky villains. This game’s getting more and more popular, so it’s only natural we should see if you guys should get in on the action.

(Besides, it’s the best excuse we’ve had to dress up in AGES.)

Disclaimer: Since this video was published, SU&SD has been made aware of a striking quantity of homophobic and transphobic content in this board game. The game’s tone was first established by the first edition in 1985, and today, it’s definitely showing its age. More information is available here, courtesy of Meeple Like Us.

When was the last time you had some friends over, one of you got abducted by an elephant, one captained a war fleet and another had eight babies*? It was NEVER, wasn’t it? Admit it!

Tales of the Arabian Nights can fix that. You might not know it, but there’s a gaping hole in your board game collection. A hole that begs to be filled. And you must fill it. You must fill it with this. The finest storytelling board game in existence.

Have a great weekend, everybody! Ideally, make sure it’s great by playing this.

*And was then abducted by an elephant.

Quinns is live on the mighty Eurogamer once again, reviewing Pandemic! A game so popular that for a while there, we were taking this monument on the board gaming landscape for granted. But you know what? It’s actually amazing, and the perfect game for this sweaty, lethargic, feverish summer.

“Pandemic’s cheap, at just £25. The manual’s flimsy few pages are crystal clear. It’s a co-op game, so no-one’s going to get too competitive, and it has you working at the Centre for Disease Control, flying around the world trying to cure four doomsday plagues before they skim humankind from the surface of the earth, so it’s not even nerdy.

“It’s captivating, pacey and dramatic. In fact, it’s the perfect game to start your board game collection.”

So some good did come from Quarantine, after all! We finally got this sucker reviewed. No messin’. Go read!

What other classics would you like to see us review, readers?

SU&SD Play... Galaxy Trucker: Anniversary Edition

Oh my goodness! The Anniversary Edition of Galaxy Trucker is here! It’s huge! And it weighs in at 8.82lbs, which is MORE THAN MOST BABIES.

Galaxy Trucker has been one of SU&SD’s favourite babies since we reviewed it in our sixth ever episode, the Vlaada Chvátil Special. It’s a game of building spaceships out of sewage pipes, launching them on “profitable” adventures, then crying as they fall apart like lego in a tumble drier. It’s just so inventive, and so, so funny.

If you haven’t got it yet, the Anniversary Edition is an absurd quantity of game. You get Galaxy Trucker itself, BOTH expansions (“The Big Expansion” and “Another Big Expansion”), AND some extra bits.

Just watch. Watch, and see how much you need this box in your life.

Paul: There are two game designers that we’re big fans of here at SUSD towers, designers whose pictures we’ve hung on our walls, whose altars we’ve erected in our rooms, and if you know us well, you know that we don’t erect things very often.

Antoine Bauza is one such designer deserving of our erections and you may well have seen us talking excitedly about two of his games before. We’re big fans of the co-op spirit-buster that is Ghost Stories and way, way back in our fourth episode we reviewed 7 Wonders, a fantastic city-building card game that’s brilliant for both beginners and even the most jaded of experienced players. Antoine has a fine pedigree.

Quinns: And now we’ve got Tokaido, a lush, luminous and lovely game that’s about nothing more than taking a long walk across Japan.

Paul: And spoiling that walk for everyone else.

The Opener: Flash Point & A Flaming B-52

FIRE! What is it? We don’t really know. Except that it’s excellent. Fire? It’s pretty great.

In this inaugral episode of The Opener, Matt looks at opening your game night with a fiery game of Flash Point: Fire Rescue and a cocktail that’s literally on fire. Because you can never have too much fire, and that’s a fact.

EDIT: OK so we just got a call from Paul screaming that he tried to make the cocktail and now has “Too much fire,” so we may have to temporarily redact that.

Review: Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

Review: Agents of SMERSH

Review: The Cave

Review: Escape: The Curse of the Temple

Review: Sentinels of the Multiverse

Review: Tales of the Arabian Nights

Review: Pandemic

SU&SD Play… Galaxy Trucker: Anniversary Edition

Review: Tokaido

The Opener: Flash Point & A Flaming B-52

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