Games for Two 9 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Combat Commander

[We’ve once again dispatched Paul to the home of Matt Thrower, our wargames correspondant. This week he’s reviewing something that sounds… absolutely amazing? That can’t be right.]

Paul: Matt? Hi! No-one answered the door so I let myself in.

Matt: You tried to find your way through the house by yourself? God forbid if I’d forgotten to lock the basement.

Paul: What? Wait, what’s this room?

Matt: The library. Look here. These books have all tried to capture the experience of the front-line soldier. An extreme example of the human condition. Seeing one’s friends dismembered in the most appalling ways imaginable on a daily basis.

Paul: That’s-

Matt: Fascinating, yes. But it turns out all that research and writing was something of a waste of time. All they had to do was play this game, here: Combat Commander. It’s absolutely incredible, and more than a little blood-curdling.

SU&SD Play... Memoir '44: Operation Overlord

August, 1942. The Germans begin their deadly assault of the Russian city of Stalingrad.

April, 2013. Team SU&SD assemble to recreate that fateful battle. But with more food. And arguably, more swearing.

The 2-8 player Overlord scenarios for featherweight wargame Memoir ’44 are unbelievable fun. To recreate them, you’ll need EITHER two copies of Memoir ’44, or, as seen here, ONE copy of Memoir ’44, ONE copy of the Operation Overlord expansion, and ONE of the official Battle Maps. Got that? Great.

WARNING: No amount of preparation will actually prepare you.

(After the SU&SD primer on wargames earlier this month, Brendan’s refusing to go back to Matt Thrower’s house, which is strange. He seems very nice. This time we sent Paul to visit, for a closer look at an adorable little entry wargame.)

Thrower: Do come in. You may leave your shoes on if you wish. I lost a caltrop earlier.

Paul: Thank you so much for the dinner invite! It smells delicious.

Thrower: You’re welcome. Some of my oldest survival rations were beginning to moulder.

Paul: I… oh. What’s that box, there, buried under the camouflage netting? Wait, why is there camouflage netting in your kitchen?

Thrower: I’m glad you asked about the box. That’s my newest game, The Last King of Scotland. I was hoping we might play while dinner finished.

Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game

Quinns: BAAAA! Ba-da-baa! Ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba ba baaaaaa… BA BA BA BAAAA. BAAA! Ba ba ba BAAA ba! Ba ba ba BAAAA ba! Ba-bam-ba-baaaa…

That is me singing the STAR WARS theme. I am singing it for you. It is a special treat.

Fantasy Flight’s owned the Star Wars license for more than a year now,
but all that’s meant for us is one passable card game. Until today. The X-Wing Miniatures Game is THE release this month. Tiny, pre-painted spaceships, jinking past lasers that could reduce them to a sneeze in less time than it takes an extra to scream “I’M HIT”.

But SHOULD YOU BUY IT? Short answer: “Yes.” Long answer: “Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah,” followed by a thoughtful pause and a speech like this…

Paul: What is Hive? That sounds like some horrid illness, some terrible disease. “I’ve got Hive Pocket!”
you shout down the telephone to your GP, sweaty hand gripping the receiver.

Quinns: Paul, telephones are all mobile nowadays, and your GP will just tell you that Hive is a two player board game without a board.

Paul: And then I would faint.

Review: Combat Commander

SU&SD Play… Memoir ’44: Operation Overlord

Review: Last King of Scotland

Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game

Review: Hive

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