New to Games? 11 - Shut Up & Sit Down

SU&SD Play… Wiz-War and Malefic Curses!

You there! Browsing the internet without a care in the world. Don’t you know there’s a war on?!

…It was a Wiz-War, technically, and it took place this week in Quinns’ flat, but still! Show some respect. This venerable old game was originally released in the 1980s, and the new, eighth edition is a cardboard monument to EVERYTHING that was wrong, and right, with game design at the time.

It’s complex, yet stupid. Competitive, yet unfair. But with the right people? There’s a very real magic to it, and that’s why we had to film this video. Plus, it was a chance to test the new expansion, Wiz-War: Malefic Curses.

WARNING: This is unquestionably the most swearing we’ve ever had in a video. Sensitive viewers? You may want to wear ear muffs.

Quinns: A lot of you guys said you were really excited about Rampage, and it’s easy to see why. A game of destroying a real-life three dimensional city? AND enjoy misadventures with real-life spit? Sold!

I just gave my review to the mighty Eurogamer. It starts like this…

In Rampage, everybody plays a big, stompy kaiju monster, and the game ends when you’ve all levelled a town. Like a board game from the ’80s (think of the merciless TV advertising, the photogenic kids shouting and high-fiving), a game of Rampage starts by offering you an immaculate, three-dimensional city, and wants you to delight in knocking it over. At the end of the game, the player who caused the most destruction to the city, its inhabitants and the other monsters is the winner.

And then, like the lashing of a great monster tail, the review goes on to have not one, but TWO separate twists. Go have a read, people! And definitely don’t write this one off as too silly for you. It has a lizard brain to it, full of animal cunning.

The Opener: Skull & Roses with Fresh Pizza

We end Simplicity Week with a bang, and the bang in question comes from you executing your friends, one after another.

Skull & Roses is the game Matt’s reviewing here, although throughout the review he calls it Skulls and Roses, and actually, the new, gorgeous edition is just called “Skull”.

But never mind our charming incompetence! This isn’t just one of the simplest games we’ve ever played. It’s one of our favourite games, period. And just to make sure your friends come over and get involved, Matt’s also going to teach you the single darkest secret known to SU&SD. How to “make” “pizza”.

But what if I were to tell you that for the next Opener, we’re planning something even better? Ah, it’s a good time to be a board gamer. A very good time.

Brendan: It’s simplicity week here on Shut Up & Sit Down and I am celebrating with margherita pizza, simplest of the foods. But also with a board game. Concept is a new party game from the French publisher behind Mascarade and City of Horror. But it is about as far removed from those games as you can get.

This is a game all about guesswork, language and stifled communication, about creating brilliant new ways to express old ideas – oh, I forgot the game. Hang on, I’ll go get it. Quinns, don’t eat my pizza while I’m gone.

Quinns: Of course not!

Brendan: Okay, I’ve got the … You’ve eaten my pizza.

Quinns: …

Today’s the beginning of Simplicity Week here at SU&SD! Aren’t games a little too complex? Isn’t life a little too complex, with all these mobly phones and dark webs and human rights? We think so, so from today through next Friday we’ll be turning our simple brains to some simple games, inarguably the most beautiful games of all.

Quinns kicks us off with a look at Going, Going, GONE! A bargain-hunting game that could be the savviest and funniest purchase you’ve made this year.

Like vinyl records or the world’s most cheerful case of herpes, The Opener is BACK! Once again, Matt wants to guide you through the perfect game + recipe to open either your game night, your friends’ minds or your own board game collection. This time it’s Coup, a teeny little game of being a disgraceful liar.

If you’ve missed The Opener until this point, you’re in for a whole selection of treats. We’ve got Mascarade and cheesy twists, Ultimate Werewolf and chilli con carne, Ladies & Gentlemen and homemade scones, and even fire-fighting game Flashpoint and some flaming B-52s.

Shut Up & Sit Down: Working to make board gaming figuratively and literally delicious since 2011.

Quinns: Full disclosure! Guts of Glory is the work of a couple of friends of mine, and their background isn’t in table gaming, but the prestigious New York game design scene. And you can tell.

The manual’s hilarious. The box has some kind of space age linen finish, and art that goes all the way around it. Most importantly, it’s a game with a theme that isn’t contemporary, historical, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, adventure or steampunk, which is something I can say about zero of the eighty games in my living room. Here, finally, is something inventive.

Guts of Glory is a post-apocalyptic, surrealist, competitive eating competition. A game of using motor oil to wash down boxes of spiders, or snatching an extra jaw from another player to help you chew a time machine. If that doesn’t intrigue you, my last recourse is the following line from the manual: “Play begins with the hungriest player. If there is a tie, play begins with the angriest player.”

Would you like to come on an ADVENTURE? Get some treasure, some glory, back home in time for tea?

So you’ll come? …What’s that? Oh, nowhere special. Just the Cutthroat Caverns. No! Come back! It’s only a name!

What about you, dear reader? Will you join us? If you’re brave enough, you’ll see there’s an awful lot of fun to be had in those dingy, treacherous caverns. Assuming you’re just a bit of a jerk.

When you think SU&SD, we know you think “co-ordinated,” “graceful,” probably even “lithe.” So this was a long time coming- a video featuring three of our favourite dexterity games on the market today. The noble Oss, the exotic Toc Toc Woodman and the farcical Cube Quest, all showcased lovingly by us in time for Christmas!

One more word, from Brendan: “I’ve put an end to all this sodding continuity, too.” What on earth is he talking about?

[We’ve found another article Quinns never published! Honestly, that boy was so disorganised. This death thing is a much better arrangement.]

Quinns: Relic Runners knocks one thing absolutely out of the park. It feels like a board game.

The box shows characters falling over themselves in giddy adventure. Open said box and you’ll find it loaded with gorgeous components, from a three-dimensional board to dozens of shiny plastic relics. The game itself lasts an entirely reasonable 60 minutes, and fits as snugly around 2 players as it does 5. It’s all just quietly joyous.

It’s also not surprising. When I profiled Days of Wonder a few months back, I found a company proud of their policy of only releasing between zero and one new game each year. In other words, investing all of their energy in trying to create a second Ticket to Ride, or failing that, a second Small World. They want another game straightforward, accessible and cheerful enough to break into bookshops all over the world. Or maybe not even a game- a brand, something that’ll sell for years.

SU&SD Play… Wiz-War and Malefic Curses!

Review: Rampage

The Opener: Skull & Roses with Fresh Pizza

Review: Concept

Review: Going, Going, GONE!

The Opener: Coup & Sweet Potato Fries

Review: Guts of Glory

Review: Cutthroat Caverns

The Dexterity Games Special

Review: Relic Runners

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