Quick Games 4 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Double Feature: Parade & Incan Gold

Quinns: You know double-yolk eggs? Those rarest of treasures that whisper “It’s all going to be ok” up from the pan? Well, today you get a double-review! Enclosed within the brittle shell of this article are not one, but TWO of the greatest card games we’ve ever played, full of fatty fun and caloric goodness.

Please ensure your credit card is secured in your official SU&SD fast-draw holster before continuing. We’re serious. These games are very, very good.

If you ask us what our favourite game is, it changes with the weather. If it’s a sunny day, Cosmic Encounter. If it’s wet and windswept, Consulting Detective. If it’s a sleepy autumn night, Memoir ’44. And so on, forever and ever, until we get tired and go to sleep.

But if you ask our team which game they’ve played the most, you’ll only get one answer: Skull*. Arguably the best bluffing game ever made, and a glittering showcase of just how much game you can get out of a minimum of rules.

If you’re still not sold, check out Matt’s review and a recipe! Skull with Fresh Pizza.

*Though Quinns’ Netrunner habit and Paul’s Carcassonne addiction do offer some competition.

Paul: True story: I got in trouble for sewing once when I was six years old. I wasn’t supposed to be sewing because, apparently, sewing is not a thing that a man does. That seems a little strange since I have definitely met some tailors who were men and whose helpful craft meant I wasn’t instead stumbling naked through life. Anyway, being thus steered from sewing surely explains why I’m not as good as I should be at Patchwork.

And it’s such a shame because I want to be better at it. I’m sure I could. I’m certain I’m on the verge of some sort of needlework breakthrough, of a real understanding of petite, precise Patchwork. I cannot stop now. I must master this splendid, splendid challenge. This flat, unassuming and apparently drab affair is so much more than it seems. Do not underestimate its prosaic presentation.

Quinns: Since Matt and I reviewed the completely excellent Arboretum I’ve been filled with a fervor not seen since I started snaffling up Netrunner expansions. Arboretum, it turns out, is just one entry in a whole line of “deluxe card games” from Z-Man Games, all of which come in identical-sized boxes.

In the last two weeks I went full magpie and bought almost all of them.

Review and a Recipe: Arboretum and Pasta with Trees

The Opener returns! Everyone’s favourite series featuring a straightforward game paired with a sexy recipe. Except we’re not calling it The Opener any more, it’s just “review and a recipe”. Nice and simple! Just like the game. And the recipe. And Matt.

Don’t be deceived by that svelte little box, though. Not unlike the trees it depicts,Arboretum is beautiful, tough, and all about hidden depths.

[EDIT: Since publishing this article the 2nd edition of Meteor has gone live on Kickstarter! That’s probably a wiser investment than buying the first edition Quinns reviews here.]

Quinns: Imagine you and your friends are protecting the earth from meteors, assembling rockets from the cards in your hand. Sounds fun, right?

Now imagine you don’t have the right cards for a successful launch. And the clock is ticking and you only have five minutes to clear the board. And now imagine you don’t know how big a payload to launch at each meteor, and if you launch one that’s too big the terrific explosion will accelerate all the other meteors.

Oh, yes. Today we’re reviewing Meteor! It’s mean, exhausting and the art design ranges from underwhelming to unclear, but it’s a megaton of fun. For what it’s worth, if you like high-fiving people, this box could be considered a cardboard portal to the high-five dimension.

Quinns: Today we finish our review triplet of games set in Japan!

First we had the beautiful, and beautifully clean design of Samurai. Next was the grand old game of Shogun, which was no less impressive. Today we look at Traders of Osaka, a small box game that was actually designed in Japan by one Susumu Kawasaki. And today I want to talk about yet another kind of beauty.

I don’t say this enough, but one of my favourite things about board games is that each one feels like receiving a shrink-wrapped idea, direct from the designer. I’ve called board games a “lossless” format before, meaning that unlike trying to write a novel or make a videogame, in the creative process of making a board game you can directly transmute the thing you have in your head into a real, physical box. It’s because of this that even bad board games (no- especially bad board games) have something intensely personal about them.

The difficulty with designing board games is, of course, making sure they arrive in one piece at their destination. That players can unpack them, study the documentation, and enjoy themselves as you intended.

So it’s fitting that Traders of Osaka is a game about shipping handicrafts across treacherous waters. As you hold this box, you’re holding Susumu Kawasaki’s beloved idea, designed in Japan, manufactured in China, handed to you by some dutiful postman. Did it get here in one piece?

Quinns: In an age where we can fit dice on rings and hold Battlestar Galactica LARPs in decommissioned warships, team SU&SD has learned that rules can only hold us back. The only rule we have left is that before we review a game, it has to be available for our readers to buy it.

Today, we’re breaking that rule!

Codenames was the smash hit of Gen Con this year. It’s still perched happily atop BoardGameGeek’s “Hotness” sidebar, it sold out despite having a terrible name and a terrible box, and it’s the game I heard most people gossiping about. Under such crushing hype, and knowing that articles will soon be flowing in, today we’re offering our review early.

Let’s start with two words: Vlaada Chvatil.

Then another five: He’s done it again.

The English language version of Spyfall is finally available! …And stock has immediately drained out shops the world over like a vodka martini through a sieve.

Don’t worry, friends! Operating in a dangerous web of international intrigue, and with a little help from Starlit Citadel, Team SU&SD has secured a review copy. At last, we’re here to tell you if this party game live up to the hype.

Quinns: Catch Team SU&SD at our most tired and soul-blasted, when we’re done walking the halls of a giant convention, and there’s a single game we’ll always still be able to play. It’s Skull.

It’s the arsenic-laced wafer thin mint of board gaming, and there’s always room for its lies and laughter. The one thing more impressive than Asmodee daring to call Skull “the very quintessence of bluffing” is that actually, I don’t think they’re wrong.

Two months ago I was in a pub with a friend who I trust completely. “If you like Skull,” he said, “Then write this down. ‘Cockroach Poker’. Best £10 you’ll ever spend.”

Today I’m the proud owner of one “Cockroach Poker Royal”, the en-complicated 2012 sequel to 2004’s Cockroach Poker. And I’ll tell you what! It’s not just a great game of lying to your friends. It’s a great game of lying with your friends.

Double Feature: Parade & Incan Gold

How to Play Skull!

Review: Patchwork

Review: Archaeology: The New Expedition

Review and a Recipe: Arboretum and Pasta with Trees

Review: Meteor

Review: Traders of Osaka

Review: Codenames

Review: Spyfall

Review: Cockroach Poker Royal

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