Quinns is planning for his future this week, and for some reason two very wet games are involved. The dastardly Black Fleet, together with venerable 1982 release Survive: Escape From Atlantis. Who knew such an old game was still treading water!
Rumours that we develop our specials using a random word generator have been MODERATELY EXAGGERATED. Drunken bets are also involved.
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In one of our most anticipated reviews of the year, Paul and Quinns have hunkered down in their rubbish-strew hideaway for a spoiler-free analysis of Dead of Winter.
Like SU&SD favourite City of Horror, here’s a zombie game that isn’t about zombies. Rather, Dead of Winter wants to tell you a story of a freezing cold colony where men and women are exiled over a lost tin of beans, and the degree to which you trust your friends could save you as easily as get you killed.
Did we mention it’s the first board game we’ve reviewed with a sex scene? Oh, yes.
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Hold on to your wallets! Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective is now available. Contained within its box is the pinnacle of puzzle technology, the supreme solo game, an astonishing coup for couples’ gaming!
Hmm? What’s that? It actually came out in 1981?
But that’s impossible. There must be some mistake.
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We’ve got a rare trio of reviews for you today! Paul and Quinns pop their collective collars to examine the bright dice and the big cities of Lords of Vegas, Las Vegas and Roll For It!. One of which they’re wholeheartedly recommending, and the other two they’re being very mean to.
Phew! The boys’ living room hasn’t seen this much sin since they ordered extra-cheese pizza back in ’09. They couldn’t finish the thing and had to throw half of it away! Ah, to be young again.
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We’ve got some continuity to sort out after last week’s sci-fi special, but let’s sort out another bit of continuity first.
Almost two years ago Quinns sat down to write this review of the X-Wing Miniatures Game core set. Today, Paul joins him in the stifling cockpit of internet television for a review of the game proper.
HUGE thanks to our fans at Industrial Light & Magic for providing that intro sequence. We were skeptical at first when they asked for literally all of our donation money, but the results speak for themselves.
Enjoy, everybody!
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Brendan: Quinns? QUINNNNS. Where is he? He’s always late. Once again I have five crates of the finest Indian silks sitting in front of me, ready to buy — ready for transport! — and once again I can’t do anything with them because Quinns is late. He’s the one with all the camels! He should know by now to be ready! Where could he be?
Quinns [panting]: Sorry. Sorry! Whoo. Sorry.
Brendan: Just tell me you have the camels.
Quinns: Oh no, I traded those camels in ages ago. But don’t worry because – look! We have all these leather rags now.
Brendan: Hang on. Since when do you and I work as merchants in India, perched atop teetering camels, our saddlebags overflowing with rubies and saffron? I mostly remember us uploading penis jokes to the internet.
Quinns: This is a written review of Jaipur, Brendan! Anything is possible!
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Depending on the weather, what we’ve had for breakfast and whether Quinns has won a game of it recently, Cosmic Encounter will sometimes be SU&SD’s official favourite game. We’ve reviewed it before, chatted about it endlessly and played it even more than that. So of course now it’s back in stock Quinns had to spread the love to the mighty Eurogamer, who published his review this morning.
It starts well:
…But then quickly descends into him getting overexcited and just listing aliens. Do you have your copy yet, readers?
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It’s the end of the world. Survivors huddle together, sheltering in rags and silence. There are bad men outside. And you’re one of them.
Arctic Scavengers is a card game for 2-5 players, and this week the updated edition first fell into our laps, then entered our hearts, like cardboard frostbite. Better yet, it’s Quinns’ favourite of all the games we’ve reviewed this year!
Oh dear. Wallets at the ready, people.
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We end Simplicity Week with a bang, and the bang in question comes from you executing your friends, one after another.
Skull & Roses is the game Matt’s reviewing here, although throughout the review he calls it Skulls and Roses, and actually, the new, gorgeous edition is just called “Skull”.
But never mind our charming incompetence! This isn’t just one of the simplest games we’ve ever played. It’s one of our favourite games, period. And just to make sure your friends come over and get involved, Matt’s also going to teach you the single darkest secret known to SU&SD. How to “make” “pizza”.
But what if I were to tell you that for the next Opener, we’re planning something even better? Ah, it’s a good time to be a board gamer. A very good time.
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Like vinyl records or the world’s most cheerful case of herpes, The Opener is BACK! Once again, Matt wants to guide you through the perfect game + recipe to open either your game night, your friends’ minds or your own board game collection. This time it’s Coup, a teeny little game of being a disgraceful liar.
If you’ve missed The Opener until this point, you’re in for a whole selection of treats. We’ve got Mascarade and cheesy twists, Ultimate Werewolf and chilli con carne, Ladies & Gentlemen and homemade scones, and even fire-fighting game Flashpoint and some flaming B-52s.
Shut Up & Sit Down: Working to make board gaming figuratively and literally delicious since 2011.
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