Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: The X-Wing Miniatures Game

making it so, special riker moments, the holodeck, photon torpedoes

We’ve got some continuity to sort out after last week’s sci-fi special, but let’s sort out another bit of continuity first.

Almost two years ago Quinns sat down to write this review of the X-Wing Miniatures Game core set. Today, Paul joins him in the stifling cockpit of internet television for a review of the game proper.

HUGE thanks to our fans at Industrial Light & Magic for providing that intro sequence. We were skeptical at first when they asked for literally all of our donation money, but the results speak for themselves.

Enjoy, everybody!

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Review: Ugg-Tect

akungu, akungu akungu, karungu, mazungu mazungu, what the hell are they talking about

Paul: A thing you should definitely know about Ugg-Tect is that, the very first time we started playing it, Brendan almost immediately began whacking himself over the head with a large club, really pounding at his own skull with a very singular sort of determination. He was going at it full speed, full strength, and looking at me with a particular sort of sadness in his eyes.

It’s important that I add that Brendan wasn’t wearing any sort of protection when he did this. Yes, the club was only inflatable, I will concede this, but I’m not sure this mattered much given the intensity of his self-inflicted blows. He was grunting one thing over and over again, one thing in the language of Ugg-Tect, and that was “Ignore me.”

Put yourself in my position for a moment. There is a man standing in front of you who is hammering away at his own head with an enormous inflatable weapon, grunting with great insistence that you ignore him. What do you do?

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Games News! 23/06/14

bulging erections, aquatic guts, dusty basements, crazy lazers

Quinns: Hello Quintin’s kittens, or my quiddens! Is that a good intro? It’s the worst, isn’t it. Let’s never do that again.

Our big news this week is that Days of Wonder has unveiled the box and artwork for Five Tribes, and you can see it above! We covered this classy collaboration with Bruno Cathala, designer of such unapproachably perfect games as Shadows Over Camelot and Cyclades, back in February. And as you can see above…

(The turn order tokens look like penises. Don’t say that. But what else can you say? It’s the elephant in the room, except it’s a neat row of penises pointing RIGHT AT ME)

…the board is, um… ah…

(DON’T SAY IT, QUINNS. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT)

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The Second Sci-Fi Special

brendan prime, space cats, math bombs, dice boundaries

So Mars is under attack from Reiner Knizia, right, and Team SU&SD are the only ones who can stop him. We also welcome back Susie Pumfsk, and Brendan is an alien!

Look, don’t ask questions. Basically we had too much sugar and when we regained our senses we’d filmed this extra-special episode, featuring reviews of Infamy, Time’n’Space AND Rex: Final Days of an Empire, with time to spare for a re-review of Netrunner (original review here).

Huge thanks to Rachel Leipacher for her vocal stylings and to Team Covenant for their sexy Netrunner footage. And everybody, beware of Knizia. Even if some of his games are suspiciously good, he’s still out there. Watching. Waiting. Mathsing.

Thanks so much, everybody!

(Donor note! This is the second of our super-videos, promised in the stretch goals of our first donation season. Did you miss the first, our Megagame Special? Definitely don’t miss that! That would be awful. — Team SU&SD)

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Announcing our 3rd ever Gold Club bag!

rpgs, a swarm of cardboard bats, the powerhouse from cornwall, where am i

HELLO! You all probably know how the Gold Club works by now. If you like SU&SD you can support us with a donation, and we can have fun mailing you a little packet of joy.

With just 12 days left on the current season, we can proudly reveal that in addition to the usual papery surprises and a limited edition physical object (which is our favourite one so far), Gold Club 3 will contain Quinns’ Guide For The Beginner Netrunner! Downloads for the full audio for our Star Wars RPG evenings and any other RPGs we play for the next three months, which is literally dozens of hours of content! And a gut-busting compilation of outtakes, following on from where the last one left off.

If any of that tickles your pickle, our donate page awaits.

Sincerely,

— Team SU&SD

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Games News! 16/06/14

wet wings wet words, bonus ghosts, galactic cheeks, glass nipples

Quinns: Wow. 14 days in and Team SU&SD is out of the running in our month-long watergun hitman tournament. That was… an unexpected ending. Expect a video in a few weeks, featuring nature documentary-like footage of Paul executing his prey.

We kick off the news today with the unveiling of the “Premium” edition of Doomtown: Reloaded. Look at it up there! Originally a collectible card game of Lovecraftian cowboys which ran from 1998 to 2000, Doomtown will come back from the dead this Summer in a new, “expandable” format.

In other words, publishers Alderac are aping what Fantasy Flight have done with their collectible card games, where randomised booster packs are ignored in favour of healthier fixed expansion packs.

“Have you felt the weight of this thing?” Alderac CEO Perk Bojangles did not say yesterday to the assembled press. “I killed an intern with one of them. One blow! Back of the head! Pow.”

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Review: Blueprints

quinns' landlord aura, nipples deep in space cats, ginger tugging, landlord lightning

Industriousness! Caution! Precision! Forethought! Patience! All skills vital to construction work that we don’t have. Surely then, an architecture game that we like must have done something wrong?

Or maybe not. Blueprints is a clean design, constructed by professionals. Does your collection have space for a small game of building tiny little structures, out of dice? Let’s be honest, now. How could it not?

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Amazing Star Wars Adventures: The Prologue

can you give us an example of your language, fhbbpbbbrp, ok thanks

And now for something a little different. We want to provide an exhaustive review of the new Star Wars: Edge of Empire Roleplaying Game, which means we’re going to have to spend lots of evenings being crap in space. So why not let you guys in on it? Presenting… SU&SD’s Amazing Star Wars Adventures! Starring … Read more

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Amazing Star Wars Adventures: The Prologue

can you give us an example of your language, fhbbpbbbrp, ok thanks

And now for something a little different.

We want to provide an exhaustive review of the new Star Wars: Edge of Empire Roleplaying Game, which means we’re going to have to spend lots of evenings being crap in space. So why not let you guys in on it? Presenting… SU&SD’s Amazing Star Wars Adventures! The prologue of which has just arrived in our podcast section.

Starring Leigh Alexander as Beetle, wannabe bounty hunter! Quinns as ZB-33, her jury-rigged protocol droid! And Matt Lees as Fuse, a grumpy fish with lots of bombs. Our first session was mostly character creation and puzzling over rules so we’re calling this instalment a “prologue”, but it features a very dramatic moment where we successfully open a door. Enjoy, everybody!

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Review: 2.8 Hours Later

fear juices, startled fawns, steve's stiff amygdala, athorough gut-worrying

[Following Pip’s escape from a room and Quinns’ attendance of the Betrayer’s Banquet, we’re continuing our coverage of event games with 2.8 Hours Later. A disturbingly real zombie apocalypse for you and your friends to survive. Huge thanks to friend of SU&SD Steve Hogarty for writing this up for us.]

Steve: “Don’t run into traffic.” That’s typically the warning you’ll get from the last out-of-character member of the 2.8 Hours Later team you’ll speak to before the game begins. “The zombies can’t hurt you, but the 47 to Shoreditch can.”

It seemed very unlikely to our assembled group of survivors that we might all at once shed our collective common sense and dash out in front of a lorry, that we’d be wholly consumed by some primitive fear at the first sight of a zombie actor and run screaming across a dual carriageway like startled fawns. Fawns that scream. But that’s almost precisely what ended up happening.

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